Mark: I'm ready.
Randy: Who are you supposed to be?
Mark: I'm Daddy. Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.
Tim: Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
Mark: Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.
Tim: Right. Yeah.
Randy: You should have gone as Al. We could have gotten more stuff.

Jill: What have you been doing down there all day long? What took so long?
Tim: Come on, honey. Horror takes time. Besides, when Brad's guests get here tonight, they're gonna be down there with their hair bleached white, eyes bugging out with that look of horror.
Jill: That's the way you looked on our wedding day.
Tim: I shouldn't have lifted the veil.
Jill: Who told you to wear it?

Tim: All right, now that we have an even layer of mortar, it's time to float our brick. There we go. One more course, and our brick wall will be finished. Oh, golly, Al. I'm out of brick.
Al: Are you telling me, Tim, that you're a few bricks shy of a load? [snorts]
Tim: No, I'm telling you you're one wisecrack short of unemployment. [snorts]