Dwayne Quote #4

Quote from Dwayne in Read My Hips

Tim: The reason I asked these guys down here is a darn good one. These guys probably have the toughest job in construction in the state of Michigan - workin' on the high steel. And these guys have a perfect safety record for the last 195 days. 195. Think about that...
Rock: Uh, Timmy. I'm afraid that record stopped at 194.
Tim: Good night, nurse. What happened?
Rock: Well, yesterday, somebody had a little accident with a rivet.
Pete: Well, you see, Tim, I was so excited about coming back on your show, I let one of those red-hot rivets slip.
Dwayne: Yes, you did.
[Dwayne bends over to reveal a rivet-sized hole in his hard hat, before removing it to reveal a bandage on his bald head]
Tim: Hey, look on the bright side. You didn't burn any hair.
Al: Tim, rivet accidents are no laughing matter.
Tim: And neither are you, Al.

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 ‘Read My Hips’ Quotes

Quote from Jill

Jill: Why don't you just ever tune in to me?
Tim: What am I supposed to do? Read your mind? At least when I want something, it's pretty clear what it is I want.
Jill: Well, that's true, Tim. Your signals are real clear. You crush a beer can on your head, that means, "I need another one." You belch... [belches] that's, "I'm done." And, "Honey, I took a shower," that's, "Wake up, I'm ready."

Quote from Al

Tim: Thank you very much and welcome to Tool Time. I'm your host, of course, Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, and you all know my assistant Al "I can't find a better job" Borland. [chuckles] Anyway, all this week Al and I will be doin' our salute to safety, 'cause, after all, Al, a safe workplace is a happy workplace. Right?
Al: I wouldn't know, Tim.

Quote from Tim

Tim: Safety on the job site is a priority. That's why proper equipment is essential. Custom-designed hard hat. [hits Al's hard hat] And proper safety goggles to protect your eyes from unexpected objects. [Al blocks Tim's hand as he goes for his goggles] Anyway, these goggles are specially coated to reduce glare and prevent scratching. [scratches Al's goggles]
Al: And they're vented for your added comfort.
Tim: And so is Al. Anyway, the important thing here is safety on the job site. And safety starts at a little spot right here. You must have direct and clear communication between your coworkers. Al, look out! See? See? Had this been a real emergency, Al would be safe because I gave him a clear and direct signal. And as Al's coworker, I'm concerned with his safety. Just as Al is concerned with mine. Right, Al?
Al: What's your point, Tim?
Tim: Good direct question. My point is, I don't think women are as clear with their signals as men. I know they're not. On a job site, for instance, if a man holds up a stop sign, he means, "Hey, stop there!" If a woman holds up the stop sign... If she designed this, it'd say: "If you really knew me, you'd know what you should do right now."