Tim Quote #367
Quote from Tim in Stereo-Typical
Tim: To most people, saws just mean noise, wood chips. And maybe a missing finger or two. Not to me. [chuckles] To me, a saw says the sound of power, something a man can relate to. Yeah, this bad boy is raw power. [audience grunts] Ar-ar yourselves. Yeah. This is a 3.5-cubic-inch chain saw. Automatic oil, manual chain style. [runs at the audience with the saw] Yeah, you won't have this thing around too long before you hear the wife going: "Are you sure you're supposed to have that running in the bedroom?" You want to cut down on the noise, put some tape across her mouth. I'm kidding. Al, the women know I'm kidding, right?
Al: That's Tim "He's Not Kidding" Taylor... [Tim cuts Al's cardboard sign with the saw] Boy, I'm tired of that sign, Al. Besides, the women know I'm kidding. If not, they're probably too busy yapping to hear me anyway.
Al: [with a new sign] That's Tim Taylor, care of Tool Time, P.O. Box 3273...
Tim: Al, Al. Do the words "job search" mean anything to you at all? [Al rips up the sign]
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Stereo-Typical’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: And thus you have a beautifully decorated nameplate for your home. So when you come to my door, whose house is it, Al?
Al: Rolyat Mit.
Tim: All you got to do is read it, and it says... Rolyat Mit. How did I screw that up? Anyway, that's just one of the uses for a scrolling saber saw. Another way to make a scroll cut is use your coping saw. Say, Al, do you suppose they call these coping saws cos they're good at handling stress?
Al: I don't think so, Rolyat.
Tim: Thanks, Al. I mean, La.
Quote from Jill
Tim: All right. I'll buy sensible speakers, but we could upgrade the amp, boost the power...
Jill: No boosting. No rewiring. I just want something simple I can turn on.
Tim: Like me.
Jill: Not that simple.
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: See, it's not unlike what the ancient Greeks felt during a dithyramb.
Tim: Dithyramb? How do you spell that?
Wilson: Well... Let's just say a poem with wild and irregular rhythms.
Tim: Let's just say that.
Wilson: Right. The dithyramb actually was a prelude to Greek theater. There was much stylized dancing and chanting as 50 naked men danced to the beat of a drum.
Tim: I think there's a place like that down by the airport.
Wilson: One of my favorite dithyrambs is similar to the chorus in a play by Aeschylus. "Give ear to my dithyramb. Ho! My flesh crawls while I listen to them pray. The day of doom has waited long. Oh, pain, grown into the race and blood-dripping stroke and grinding cry of disaster moaning and impossible weight to bear." [banging] Hmm. I am cleansed.
Tim: These guys would do that naked?