Tim Quote #356
Quote from Tim in Al's Fair in Love and War
Jill: Why don't you bring her over here Saturday night? We're just gonna have a cookout, you know, just the family.
Al: Well, I wouldn't want to be any trouble.
Tim: A little late for that, isn't it, Al?
Jill: Shut up, Tim. It's no trouble. You'll be relaxed, and that way she'll get to see the real Al.
Tim: A sad, lonely, broken man. [Al pouts] I'm kidding, buddy.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Al's Fair in Love and War’ Quotes
Quote from Jill
Jill: It's just my diary from college. There's nothing that would interest you in here.
Tim: Really? Hey, what about that steamy night in Saugatuck we spent, huh?
Jill: There might be one short paragraph.
Tim: I bet it says something like. "Tonight, I saw paradise."
Jill: "And it was a very small island."
Quote from Tim
Tim: No, no, no. I promised I wouldn't touch it. [Randy starts to walk away with Jill's diary] Whoa. But that doesn't stop you from putting it out and accidentally opening it up.
Randy: Wait a second. This could be worth something. I could tell Mom about this.
Tim: And I could duct-tape you to a ceiling fan and force-feed you liver.
Randy: How's "August 22. 1974"?
Quote from Randy
Tim: Gather around, my sons.
Randy: What's up, Dad?
Tim: Tonight, we put a carcass on the grill, oil up our bodies, put our loincloths on and celebrate...
the first barbecue of the season. [grunts] And you'll notice, Daddy-o here has a 20-gallon steel cylinder filled with propane. I've increased the outlet valve of this twice over. Which means we'll be cooking with what?
Randy: The fire department?