Tim Quote #335
Quote from Tim in Luck Be a Taylor Tonight
Charlie: Well, I've only been married 23 days, and every day it's been the same thing. Nag, nag, nag. "Pick up your socks, pick up your underwear, pick up your dishes."
Tim: Charlie, pick up your keys. [chuckles] Let me tell you something about women. Women are a product of their mothers. And their mothers before that, and their mothers before that. This nagging is a genetic thing. It goes way back, you know? Maybe to caveman days. The Serengeti's quiet. You could hear a pin drop. But out of a cave hole: "Hey. Grog, get your hairy butt out of that bed. Did you drag this wildebeest across this floor? I've been down on my knuckles and knees all day. I washed your loincloth this morning. Use some leaves, will ya?" Why do you think man invented the wheel? So he could leave home now and then.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Luck Be a Taylor Tonight’ Quotes
Quote from Jill
Jill: Robbie, can I give you just a little piece of advice?
Robin: No.
Jill: Well, you're gonna hear it anyway. Marriage is about one thing - compromise. And guess who gets to do most of that?
Both: We do.
Jill: It's 70-30. Unless you count childbirth, and then it's 97-3.
Quote from Jill
Jill: Now, listen, you need to learn to let some things go, because you know you make everything such a big deal. Just eliminate the things that drive you the craziest.
Robin: Well, that would be Charlie. He is such a slob, Jill. He leaves his clothes on the floor, his wet towels on the bed. I wish he was more like Tim.
Jill: Hah!
Robin: At least Tim helps you out around the house.
Jill: Well, of course he does. I trained him. Without me he'd still be in the backyard eating out of a trough.
Robin: How did you train him?
Jill: Well, first I got rid of the trough.
Quote from Wilson
Tim: How do women and men even stay together?
Wilson: It has to do with barbed wire, Tim.
Tim: [inquisitive grunt]
Wilson: As a boy I used to spend summers at my Uncle Leonard's farm, and at the edge of his property he had a huge oak tree. Running through the middle of that tree was an old barbed-wire fence.
Tim: It went right through the tree?
Wilson: Right through the middle of the tree. When a tree is planted close to a fence, it has nowhere to grow. As it expands and grows bigger, it extends over the fence and slowly envelops the wire. The two separate entities gradually become one.
Tim: Am I the tree or the barbed wire?
Wilson: Well, I don't think you're the tree, Tim. [Tim laughs] Ah, the point is, the two were joined without destroying the tree or losing the integrity of the fence. It's almost as if they belong together.
Tim: Like Jill and me.