Wilson Quote #47

Quote from Wilson in A Battle of Wheels

Tim: You won't believe it, but you were wrong, Wilson. Jill didn't want intimacy.
Wilson: Is that so?
Tim: And you'll never guess what she really wanted.
Wilson: A little more time to herself?
Tim: Huh?
Wilson: You see, Tim, as Khalil Gibran said: "For the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow."
Tim: Ah, that's beautiful. Oh, yeah, it is, yeah. I have no idea what you just said.
Wilson: I just mean that occasionally, it's healthy for you and Jill to be apart.
Tim: Why didn't you say that in the first place?
Wilson: It just came to me. Sometimes it's not good to get me too early in the day, Tim.


 ‘A Battle of Wheels’ Quotes

Quote from Al

Lisa: And now, Binford Tools is proud to present Tool Time, with its very special guest host, Al "The Tool Man" Borland.
Al: Hi. [struggles to get his jacket off] Hi. And... and welcome to Tool Time, the show with more power... [grunts weakly] Ah, you all know my guest assistant, Tim "The Assistant Man" Taylor. [Tim salutes] Tim and I are going to be showing you today the proper method of installing decorative molding around the interior of a doorway. [runs backstage] Thank you, Lisa. [returns and knocks on the door]
Tim: Jeez, Al.
Al: [comes up behind Tim] Ah, Tim. Do you suppose if Little Miss Muffet went through there, instead of a "doorway" they'd call it a "curds and whey"? [snorts]
Tim: I don't think so, Al.
Al: Why not?
Tim: That's Al "I Take My Job Seriously" Borland...

Quote from Al

Al: OK. So, uh... The most common decorative molding are the casings, which go around the doors and windows. And the, uh, baseboards - thank you, Tim - which go on the, uh... Ah, the. They go...
Tim: Bottom?
Al: [shouts] bottom of the walls! And the crown molding, which of course go up on... Oh. [Al's tie comes loose]
Tim: Can I assist you with that, Al?
Al: Uh, no thank you, Tim.
Tim: We could use a staple gun right to your Adam's apple, Al.
Al: And you know, speaking of staple guns, the, uh... Do... do you suppose that they call it a staple gun because it shoots out staples?
Tim: Yes, I do, Al.
Al: Well. I... I agree, Tim.

 Wilson Wilson Quotes

Quote from Bye Bye Birdie

Tim: I want Brad to be a good student.
Wilson: Mm-hm.
Tim: So I told him that multiplying compound fractions is a real important part of that. But, you know, between you and me, it's kinda useless information.
Wilson: Well, I don't know about that, Tim. There was a time when I thought my extensive research into ancient tribal cultures, obscure scientific data, the thoughts of great philosophers, would never come in handy. Then you moved in.

Quote from Doctor in the House

Wilson: A Ph.D.?! Tim? Aw, Jill, Jill, Jill, Jill... Do you realize how many hours I had to study to get my doctorate in forgotten languages and extinct cultures? Oh, my, my, my. Sitting in that library, reading that insufferable microfilm till I thought I would practically go blind? Not to mention that to support myself, I had to volunteer as a subject for lab experiments. Oh, oh. And the thing that really irritates me about this whole thing...
Jill: Wilson!
Wilson: Oh, Jill, Jill, talk me down, talk me down.
Jill: I came out here so you'd talk me down.
Wilson: Oh, I'm sorry, Jill. I just lost control.