Wilson Quote #42
Quote from Wilson in Unchained Malady
Wilson: Well, Tim, the problem may not be the chain letter. Someone's planted the concept of bad luck in your mind, and therefore your subconscious is expecting bad luck. Ergo, bad luck happens.
Tim: There you go. Bad luck. Bad luck. What if someone wasn't as enlightened as me? How would they get rid of that curse?
Wilson: Well, some people think it can be broken by carrying garlic and wolfsbane.
Tim: Wolfsbane?
Wilson: Mm-hmm. Genus Aconitum Vulpana.
Tim: Yeah, sure.
Wilson: Also called monkshood. It's a herb indigenous to the Eurasian plain. It's very, very rare. Almost impossible to find.
Tim: Where would I go get some?
Wilson: Right here, Tim.
Tim: Do you have any garlic?
Wilson: Be my guest. Try to bring that back, Tim. I'm making pizza.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Unchained Malady’ Quotes
Quote from Al
George Foreman: Well, if I'm going to hit that nail, Tim, I've got to get angry with it.
Tim: Huh?
George Foreman: So I'm going to close my eyes and imagine it's Evander Holyfield. You going to hold that nail for me?
Tim: Al, hold that nail.
Al: I don't think so, Tim.
Tim: George, hold your own nail.
George Foreman: I don't think so, Tim.
Tim: Lisa?
Lisa: [o.s.] I don't think so, Tim.
Quote from Jill
Jill: Honey, I was just making this list, and, you know, I don't think that all this bad luck is just because of that chain letter.
Tim: You don't, do you?
Jill: No, listen to this. In the last month, you have done the following. Backed a pickup truck into a house, almost electrocuted yourself three times, nailed your shoe into the floor, and glued your head to a table.
Tim: What's your point?
Jill: Well, the point is, it's not the chain letter that's bringing you bad luck. It's you. You're a klutz. Isn't that great?
Tim: Honey, I'm thrilled.
Quote from Jill
Jill: George Foreman?
Tim: Yeah.
Jill: Is he an athlete?
Tim: Yes, Jill.
Jill: I know who he is.
Tim: I know you do.
Jill: He's the quarterback for the Detroit Tigers.
Karen: No, no, no. No, no, that's Arnold Palmer.
Jill: No, no, he's a race car driver.
Tim: Ladies, ladies...
Tim: No, he's... Look...
Karen: Yeah, he won the Super Bowl.
Tim: [grunts] George Foreman happens to be the former heavy weight champion of the world.
Jill: Oh, wow. In what sport?
Tim: [sighs] Boxing. He's a boxer, Jill. Boxing.