Tim Quote #216
Quote from Tim in Forever Jung
Tim: Now that we've sanded down our table top, it's time to apply the decorative laminate. Al, you wanna spread the glue for me, please?
Al: I live to laminate, Tim.
Tim: While Al does that, I'd like to speak to you, if I could. I'm a little cheesed. Some people say the reason men are into tools is because we're insecure. These same people say that men are into more power because we're destructive and aggressive. Well, let me explain something to you. We're neither destructive or aggressive. What we are is creative. Let's look at some of the things built over time using tools. The great pyramids of Egypt. The Great Wall of China. Indy... of Indy. The Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Al: Uh, Tim, I believe the Leaning Tower was considered a huge structural mistake.
Tim: Well... Look at that. That's an accomplishment. This tower's been leaning for over 800 years, and it hasn't fallen over. Kind of reminds me of my mother-in-law. [laughs] I'm kidding, Nana.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Forever Jung’ Quotes
Quote from Jill
Jill: What is this thing on your head?
Tim: It's a little piece of table.
Randy: What happened?
Tim: Old Mr. Negativity, Al, distracted me and I got my head cemented to this table. He had to take a sabre saw to get me off of that table.
Jill: Don't you think you should go to the emergency room?
Tim: I was just there. They said I wasn't a priority.
Jill: Why? Was there a guy with a whole table stuck to his head?
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: You'd be surprised. Actually, the female of the species can be very aggressive.
Tim: So, what you're saying is that when women ruled the world, things weren't all that peaceful and nice.
Wilson: No. No, no, no, no, Tim. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, with women as well as men. In ancient Africa, they had entire female armies. In Babylon, they would burn a man at the stake every spring to ensure the fertility of the crops.
Tim: Ooh. That's a hell of a price to pay for zucchini.
Wilson: Well, I don't know, Tim. Maybe one day, men and women will learn to share the power. To cooperate rather than dominate.
Quote from Randy
Tim: You notice I'm not laughing.
Jill: Yeah, we'll be good. Come on, come on. Right. Randy, set the table.
Randy: Okay. Dad, bend over.