Al Quote #13

Quote from Al in For Whom the Belch Tolls

Tim: Last time, we showed you how to install an aluminum storm window on an existing wooden frame. Today, we hung a storm door on an existing wood frame. Now, the important thing about putting a door in is hanging it, 'cause if it's not hung well, you got a problem. Right, Al?
Al: Speak for yourself, Tim.
Tim: When installing a door, you gotta make it fit exactly like it's supposed to, so make sure your hinge is aligned with the king stud.
Al: Well, thank you, Tim.

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 ‘For Whom the Belch Tolls’ Quotes

Quote from Wilson

Wilson: Well, it sounds like he's spending all his time looking backwards and you're spending yours looking forward.
Tim: That's it. I can't keep up with this guy. The thought of crushing a beer can on my head makes my butt quiver.
Wilson: Well, that's why I gave it up, Tim.
Tim: I don't know what to do about him.
Wilson: Well, it sounds to me like you're having a hard time saying goodbye.
Tim: Why should I say goodbye? He's been one of my best friends for 15 years.
Wilson: Well, has he, Tim? Or was he your best friend 15 years ago? You see, Tim, I believe it was St. Paul who said: "When I was a child I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child. But when I became a man, I put away childish things."

Quote from Tim

Tim: And that's how you beat Old Man Winter, by installing a properly clad aluminum storm window inside your wood-frame window. Now, no less effective, and sometimes less costly is installing plastic sheeting on the inside of your window. Right, Al?
Al: That's right, Tim. We've taken a three-millimeter piece of plastic sheeting, cut it two inches larger than our interior frame.
Tim: Right, Al. And we've tucked it over the top, taped it. And now are ready to shrink it using an electric hair dryer. Lisa?
Lisa: Here you go, Tim.
Tim: Thanks. We do this to get a wrinkle-free, clear covering over our windows. Now, this works best, but if you don't happen to have a hair dryer, you can always get your mother-in-law over to the house and have her yap at the window for a while. [shrill voice] "You know, you should have married Dr. Conrad. He's a brain surgeon. No, you end up with this loser on the tool show. [hair dryer noise]" Ah! I've just... You don't want... You don't want... You don't want to irritate any mother-in-laws, do you, Al?
Al: You already have, Tim.
Tim: That's it from me. Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, reminding you to get those storm windows and doors in early, 'cause you never know when that storm's gonna come rolling through. See you next time.

 Al Borland Quotes

Quote from Dead Weight

Al: I was just thinking about my mother, all the great times we used to have. When I was a kid, she used to take us to the park. We'd fly kites, she'd push us on the swing. We'd spend hours on the teeter-totter.
Tim: I used to love the teeter-totter. Up and down. Up and down.
Al: Down?
Tim: Well, they play it differently in different parts of the country.

Quote from This Joke's for You

Al: What, your little bell will send 5,000 volts coursing through my body? [chuckles] While he stands back and yells, "Remember the Al-amo!"
Tim: I just want you to press the bell.
Al: I know... It's just a setup, isn't it? It's one big setup.
Tim: It is not a setup!
Al: Soon you'll start in with the uncalled-for slams against my mother...
Tim: Al.
Al: How she always shops in the husky section. How she wiped out the all-you-can-eat salad bar.
Tim: Al, I simply came out here to put this thing together.
Al: Well, go ahead. Just say it. My mother is a big fat cow!
Tim: Goodness gracious, Al. We'll be right back after these messages from Binford Tools.