Dwayne Quote #1
Dwayne: You know, I'm out on the job site, way out. Nowhere close to your ordinary kitchen utensils. So I got to improvise. Now, this here, is the dipstick off my '87 two-ton pickup. With this, I make my southern specialty. Shish-ke-billy-bob. Now, the important thing to remember, Tim, before you start cooking is to get all that oil off your dipstick. Now, I like to alternate my meat and my vegetables.
Tim: How do you feel about that, Al?
Al: Well, I'm still thinking about that dipstick, Tim.
Dwayne: I prefer to use USDA Choice cube steak. Pearl onions, green peppers. And just a touch of summer squash for color. No need to make mealtime a drab affair, huh, Tim?
Tim: Perish that thought, Dwayne.
Dwayne: Now, for the seasoning. I turn to my assistant, Pete.
Pete: That would be me. I like to lightly dust the kebab with... just a hint of sage and some tarragon.
Dwayne: Well, I prefer rosemary, but...
Tim: Dwayne, rosemary's much too harsh...
Dwayne: Pete, this is neither the time nor the place. Now, ordinarily, Tim, I would wrap this in tinfoil and put it on a hot engine. But we don't have time for all that. Here, hold that, Al, will you? Thank you. Now. Pete's got one... Pete's got one all cooked up and ready for us to taste.
Pete: There you go, Tim. Give that a whirl. Yeah. How do you like that?
Tim: This is delicious. I detect a hint of 10W-30 on that thing, though.
Quote from Jill
Tim: "Touch Me in the Morning". Diana Ross.
Jill: I'll touch you in the afternoon if you think of the name of the song.
Tim: I remember the song that we heard in the back of my Corvair steaming the windows.
Jill: So do I. "The Minute Waltz."
Quote from Rock
Tim: Rock, what have you got for us today?
Rock: Well, Tim, I'm a riveter. I work up on the high steel. And I'll tell you, it makes it darn hard to get a hot lunch up there. But I've come up with an easy way to make a delicious grilled-cheese sandwich.
Tim: You hear my stomach growling?
Rock: Oh, you're gonna love this one, Tim. The fellas call it "cheddar ȧ la Rock".
Tim: All right.
Rock: I use only sharp Wisconsin cheese. Because, after all, in Wisconsin, cheese is cheese.
Tim: American cheese from American cows. [moos] Look out!
Rock: I spread on a generous dollop of oleo with my trowel. Then I take the cheese and I stick it between the bread.
Tim: Good place for it.
Quote from Up Your Alley
Jill: I know it sounds ridiculous but it relaxes me. You should try it. See, just start on your left foot, then go.
Jill, Dwayne & Pete: "Ashes, ashes, we all fall down."
Jill: And then, after I release the ball. I always do this: Please, please, please, please, please.
Pete: Please, please, please, please, please, please...
Dwayne: You're embarrassing yourself.
Pete: I am not, and you're always criticizing.
Dwayne: This is neither the time nor the place.
Quote from Bell Bottom Blues
Tim: Well, then, help me out, guys. How does one man show another man he just appreciates what he does?
Dwayne: Well, you buy him a couple Lions tickets.
Tim: Hey, all right.
Rock: Or let him borrow your truck.
Tim: Good one.
Pete: You could pour beer over his head.
Tim: Yeah, yeah!
Dwayne: And I did not appreciate that.