Tim Quote #99
Quote from Tim in Nothing More Than Feelings
Tim: Wait a minute. I topped you both. My wife drools in her sleep.
Jim: Disgusting.
Tim: And I'm not talking about a little puddle. I'm talking about, "Hook up the hose. Let's water the lawn." No, no, no. "Man the lifeboats, she's drooling. Get in. [sings] She's drooling, drooling Drooling down the river Drooling, drooling. Drooling down the river..."
Al: Tim.
Tim: What is it, Al? Come on, join in.
Al: We only have a few minutes left, Tim.
Tim: Al, we're having an important discussion here.
Al: About drool, Tim?
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Nothing More Than Feelings’ Quotes
Quote from Mark
Mark: Mommy, I'm worried.
Jill: About what, honey?
Mark: If you drool and sleep on your back, won't you drown?
Jill: No, honey. Thank you for your concern. Eat a carrot.
Quote from Tim
Jill: Tim, the car is running fine.
Tim: It used to be running fine. Inside of a car is an internal combustion engine. Composed of many precision parts running at a high RPM. High RPM produces friction. Friction produces heat. Heat is dissipated by lubrication - oil. When the car didn't get the oil that it needs, it tends to seize up into a rock.
Jill: Are you saying the car's not running?
Tim: We now own a 4,000 pound, four-door boulder.
Jill: You mean I can't drive it?
Tim: Not unless you're Wilma Flintstone.
Quote from Tim
Tim: How long has the oil light been on, Jill?
Jill: Oil light...
Tim: The oil light. Next to the speedometer. A little red light with an oil can on it.
Jill: Oh, that thing. I don't know, two or three days.
Tim: Two or three days? It's a warning light. Didn't it occur to you there might be a little problem?
Jill: I thought if there was a problem with the car, that the light would get brighter or there would be a buzzer.
Tim: A buzzer?! It's a car, not a game show.