Al: I was thinking about what you said the other day. About how I wouldn't understand what you were talking about until I was married.
Tim: So?
Al: Made me feel like I was desperate. Like I would never be able to find someone who'd marry me.
Tim: I didn't... That's not... I didn't... That's not what I meant.
Al: Well, I just wanted you to know that it really hurt me.
Tim: Hey, hey, hey. Al just shared a feeling. That's... That's... Yeah, that's all. Why don't we get to that circular saw now? That's what we ought to do.
Al: I mean, well, you have a wife and a family. You have no idea what it's like coming home to an empty one-bedroom apartment every night.
Tim: Al, you've got a great-looking apartment. I've been there, it's nice.
Al: Well, I just... I just think you wouldn't kid me so much if you knew well, just how very, very lonely I am. [sobs]
Kyle: I'm going back to my seat.
Jim: No kidding.
Tim: Al, hey, buddy...

Jill: So you, uh, put a lot of work into that car.
Tim: Not really. Just had to remove the damaged short block, get all the damaged parts out, got a new short block, had it milled and bored for me. New piston rings, connecting rods, main bearings, oil pump, fuel pump, water pump, upper motor, polish and port the heads, a new canooter valve, rewired it, add more... Add a little more power, but that's about it, hon.
Jill: I didn't realize that that little oil light could be such a big problem.
Tim: It's just a car, honey. It's not a human being. It's not like the human being I love more than anything else in the world. You know why I like tools? Because they fix things. Tear down a motor, see the problem. It's right there - boom, it's fixed. I wish I could fix things between us that easily.
Jill: Is that an apology?
Tim: I don't think I can apologize enough for the things I do. All I can offer is a lifetime of grovelling at your feet.
Jill: That'd be a start.
Jill: I promise in the future I will always put oil in the car.
Tim: And I'll say nice things about your hair.
Jill: While grovelling?
Tim: You bet. [they hug] I'm... I'm prepared to offer cash gifts.

Tim: '84 they took the Padres, remember that?
Jim: No comparison. I'm talking '68. When baseball was baseball.
Kyle: You got that right, man. Tiger Stadium used to serve up a great pork sausage.
Jim: Yes, I know.
Kyle: I tell you, now you go out there. For a $1.85, what do you get?
Tim: I know what you're talkin'.
Kyle: A hot dog. Two bites and it's gone, huh? I mean, you gotta burp to find out what it tastes like.

Jill: Boys, finish your breakfast. Hurry up and brush your teeth. If you miss that bus, you're gonna be in big, big trouble.
Tim: Trouble already? Guys, pace yourselves. You've got all day to be evil. You don't wanna peak too soon.

Tim: Give the old man a kiss goodbye.
Jill: Did you brush?
Tim: Front and back.
Jill: Oh, honey, honey, you're gonna have to move my car, 'cause I'm blocking you.
Tim: Why don't you just park in your side of the driveway?
Both: Bikes.

Jim: I wish I could say something like that to my wife. She- She- She's got a hundred bottles in the shower. Yeah, conditioners and shampoos and rinses. What does she need all that stuff for?
All: Yeah.
Kyle: That's nothing, my wife...
Tim: Ginger.
Kyle: My wife has these mo-and-three-quarter-inch press-on-nails. Well, I'm at home watching Circus of the Stars, and I hear this tapping. I look over at the wife. She's tapping with her fingernail on the front of her teeth. Drives me nuts.

Tim: Let's talk about real emotion. Crying. When was the last time you cried? [Kyle turns around angrily towards Tim] Jim?
Jim: You mean "cried" cried or "cried because something heavy fell on you"? Once I dropped this spinet piano on my...
Tim: No, no, no, no, no. I need an emotional experience. A deep one that we can share with all of us.
Jim: Well, now that I think of it, there was one time when I almost cried.
Tim: Let it go, man.
Jim: It was 1968. The Tigers won the World Series.
Kyle: Oh, man. That was unbelievable.
Tim: It was like six home runs. Whoa, talk about emotions. Talk about emotions.