Marty Taylor Quotes   Page 2 of 8    

Quote from Alarmed by Burglars

Tim: Hey! Maybe it's time "The Tool Man" had his own security system.
Harry: Oh, boy! I've been waiting for this day a long time.
Tim: All right, all right, all right.
Benny: Tim buying an alarm system? Ka-ching. Ka-ching.
Marty: Yeah. This is gonna be good. The Tim Taylor High-Security Compound. It's gonna be the only home with first-strike capability.

Rate

Quote from He Ain't Heavy, He's Just Irresponsible

Marty: You're telling me things are gonna get better, right?
Tim: There's no guarantees, I'm just saying things got better for Jill and l.
Marty: But you're telling me I shouldn't leave.
Tim: Marty, I'm not gonna tell you that. I can't do this. You gotta make your own decision here.
Marty: I can't imagine my life without Nancy.
Tim: I can't imagine any other woman havin' ya.
Marty: I sure hate the idea of leaving the kids. I mean, when they're not puking and pooping, they're really cute.
Tim: They do grow out of that, you know. Help me fix the distributor on the hot rod, will you?
Marty: I'm just looking forward to the day when I can pick up one of the kids and nothing gooey shoots out at me.

Quote from The Naked Truth

Nancy: Did you call home? How is everything?
Marty: Oh, my mom's fine.
Nancy: I was talking about the babies.
Marty: I don't know. They wouldn't come to the phone. [Nancy slaps Marty's shoulder] Ow! Where do they learn that?
Tim: SWAT team.

Quote from The Naked Truth

Marty: [chuckles] One brother stapling another's butt. Brings back fond memories.
Tim: It was never my intent to hurt you.

Quote from Sisters and Brothers

Marty: [enters] You idiot! You big idiot!
Tim: Stop calling me an idiot, will you, please?
Marty: Well, if you'd stop acting like an idiot, I'd stop calling you an idiot. Big fat idiot.
Tim: I heard that. All right, guys. Come in this way. Hurry up please. Watch the door.
Jill: What's going on here?
Nancy: Why are the moving men here?
Marty: I had a guy to refinish our floors, right? Tim said he had a better guy. Well, he turns out to be a bigger idiot than Tim.
Tim: No one's a bigger idiot than me.
Marty: The floors aren't gonna be dry for two days and they gotta unload the truck.
Jill: Here? In the house?
Marty: Yeah, 'cause of my brother.
Moving Man: The idiot?
Tim: Marty, I was just trying to help.
Marty: Yeah, if you wanna help, just butt out of my life, will you, you big butthead?

Quote from Sisters and Brothers

Marty: Tim, you took a big step today admitting that you were wrong about the floor guy.
Tim: Well, putting me in a headlock didn't hurt.
Marty: Well, Nancy wanted me to resolve my fight with you by talking about my feelings.
Tim: I really appreciate that you didn't go that way.

Quote from Sisters and Brothers

Nancy: Marty, I can't find Farmer Fred.
Tim: Who's Farmer Fred?
Nancy: Farmer Fred is this little stuffed toy we use to get the kids to fall asleep.
Marty: Yeah, you know, you pull his pitchfork, he makes barnyard sounds. "Moo" goes the cow and "quack, quack, quack" goes the duck, and...
Tim: Marty, I got the idea.
Nancy: You remember where you packed him?
Marty: Sure. I remember where I packed everything. Go ahead. I'll bring him right on up.
Nancy: Thanks. [exits]
Tim: [chuckles] You have no idea where you put him, do you?
Marty: No.

Quote from Her Cheatin' Mind

Marty: Isn't it something the most gorgeous women always end up with the ugliest guy.
Harry: Yeah, look at you, Marty. Your wife's a knockout.
Marty: What you saying, I'm ugly? Tim, you think I'm ugly?
Tim: I don't know, Marty. You got some nice features. But overall, you're a pretty forgettable guy, really.

Quote from Her Cheatin' Mind

Marty: Tim? Why do you keep lookin' at your watch?
Tim: No reason.
Marty: How long ago was Jill due home?
Tim: 64 minutes.
Marty: Look, I'm sorry, we were just giving you a hard time. Don't worry about that guy.
Tim: I'm not worried about that guy, Marty.
Marty: OK. I want you to know whatever happens I'm here for you.
Tim: Thanks, Marty.
Marty: Well, I gotta go now.
Tim: And why's that, Marty?
Marty: Because if I'm more than 15 minutes late, Nancy thinks I'm havin' an affair.
Tim: Good night, Marty.

Quote from Jill's Surprise Party

Marty: We can't drink anything. We can't eat anything. There's no guest of honor. You throw a heck of a party.
Tim: It's not my fault, Marty. This whole thing was the kids' idea.
Brad: [to Randy & Mark] Hey, we're not the ones who inspired her with that dumb story about the scroll saw.

 First PageNext Page