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Let's Did Lunch

‘Let's Did Lunch’

Season 2, Episode 10 -  Aired November 25, 1992

Tim's friend Dave asks him to lie about having lunch together because he's cheating on Karen.

Quote from Tim

Tim: Stay out of this.
Jill: OK. Look, I will stay out of this if you call Dave and tell him that he's gotta come clean with Karen.
Tim: Got a better idea. Let's split the 20.
Jill: Tim!
Tim: All right. All right. Take the whole thing.

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Quote from Jill

Jill: Hi, honey. Look who's here.
Dave: Hey, Jill. How are you doing?
Jill: Fine. Thanks.
Tim: Dave brought the right distributor, so now maybe we can time this thing correctly.
Jill: Well. Timing's everything. Isn't it, Dave? You guys want me to make you some sandwiches? Ham and cheese, perhaps?
Tim: That'd be great. And get some coffee for us too. [off Jill's look] I'll make the coffee, though. I'll do it. [Jill exits]

Quote from Tim

Dave: She knows?
Tim: No.
Dave: You told her.
Tim: No, I didn't.
Dave: And she's told Karen already. Hasn't she?
Tim: I told her not to tell Karen.
Dave: Great. Now, is Jill going to act weird every time I see her?
Tim: I don't think you'll be seeing her that much. [laughs] That's a joke, Dave.

Quote from Tim

Dave: Why did you tell her, Tim?
Tim: She's my wife. I have a hard time Iying to her. She made me look her in the eye.
Dave: Now I have to tell Karen because if I don't, Jill will.
Tim: Probably.
Dave: You have sunk me with Karen.
Tim: No, Dave. You sunk yourself with Karen. You torpedoed this whole thing and you tried to drag me into it. Don't get all mad at me over this.
Dave: Thanks for the lecture, Tim.
Tim: Oh, come on, Dave. Wait. One more question. Is this the high-pull model with the dual points on there? [Dave takes the distributor back] Come on, Dave. Dave, lighten up.

Quote from Tim

Jill: No luck?
Tim: I cannot find a distributor anywhere. Of course, Dave's got the one I want, but he hates me now, so I won't be getting that one. That's what I get for being honest.
Jill: You did the right thing, honey.
Tim: Try to remember that when you're pushing my hot rod up I-75. "Honey, we got to pass this truck." "I'm pushing as hard as I can."

Quote from Tim

Tim: He didn't even tell her about the blonde. She just said she didn't want to see him anymore.
Jill: Really? Good for her. Well, I guess her instincts were right.
Tim: Instincts?
Jill: Yeah, well, she mentioned that there were some problems. You know, Dave wasn't really there for her.
Tim: Wasn't there for her? He went to the opera with her. How much more "there" can a guy be?

Quote from Tim

Tim: If you remember the last show, we were promised a wood-sniffing demonstration by our own Al "Dare to be Dull" Borland. Blindfold in place, Al?
Al: Yes, it is, Tim.
Tim: OK. Step into position there. Ready?
Al: Yes.
Tim: Aim. Fire. [pistol fires] Just checking if you're breathing, Al. That's all I'm doing.

Quote from Jill

Tim: I was thinking about Karen and Dave.
Jill: Aw, not that again.
Tim: Yeah. On the way home tonight, driving the car, I started to thinking... You owe me an apology.
Jill: Get outta here.
Tim: No. I was more honest about Dave than you were about Karen. So you apologize.
Jill: Apologize? Forget it.
Tim: We're always supposed to apologize when we do something wrong. So say you're sorry.
Jill: [sighs] Will that make you feel better?
Tim: Yes.
Jill: OK. I'm sorry.
Tim: Is that it? "OK. I'm sorry."
Jill: I'm very, very sorry.

Quote from Jill

Tim: That's pathetic. You'd never let me get away with an apology like that.
Jill: OK.
Tim: Now what?
Jill: [lays down with her hand on her forehead] Tim.
Tim: Oh, Jeez.
Jill: [Southern accent] I wronged you terribly. I'm not fit to carry the name Taylor. From henceforward on, I shall be known only as "Jill, the wrong one." Please, please, please, please forgive me. [kissing sounds] Hey, what are you doin'?
Tim: [Southern accent] Say it like you mean it.
Jill: No, because I was not wrong.
Tim: At least 'pologize for your lousy accent.
Jill: Yours was worse.

Quote from Tim

Tim: Hey, what's this?
Jill: I don't know. They said you knew about it.
Tim: [grunts] It's so medieval looking. [Southern accent] You can run, but you can't hide. I know where you live.
McGurns: [o.s.] Hey, Taylors!
Tim: What do you want?
McGurns: [o.s.] Eat this. [Tim is pelted with rotting garbage]

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