Randy: Don't worry. We're gonna get 'em back good. Look at this.
Mark: What is it?
Randy: It's a catapult. Look at the picture. In Middle Ages, when you wanted to storm an enemy's castle, you'd get a dead and diseased horse and fling it over the castle walls.
Mark: You don't have a dead horse.
Randy: Hey, maybe we could get Mrs. Bauscher's dog.
Brad: He's not dead.
Randy: Well, almost.
Brad: We just need something that stinks. [both look at Mark]
Mark: I don't stink.
Brad: Garbage. We could build one of those things and fling it into the back of McGurns' yard.

Jill: Oh, no. What are you doing now?
Tim: I souped up the weed whacker, baby.
Jill: I thought you bought that one 'cause it was the most powerful one in the store.
Tim: Now it's the most powerful one on the planet. I put a little miniturbo in here. I think I can get this two-cycle motor up to 33,000 rpm's. Just call me Robowhacker.
Jill: Excuse me, Mr. Whacker.
Tim: Huh?
Jill: There are no weeds in November.
Tim: I know that. I'm just going to do a little trial spin before I put it to sleep for winter.

Karen: Nice legs, Chicken Little.
Tim: Thanks, Mouth Big.
Tim: What are you guys doing over here?
Karen: We're going to the opera tonight.
Tim: [screams]

Dave: Hey, Tim. Why don't you guys come and join us tonight, huh?
Tim: Dandy idea, Dave. But I'm married now. You only have to go through that opera hell when you're dating.
Karen: OK. Mr. Cynic.
Tim: Goes both ways, Kar-Kar. You're dating. You pretend you like football don't you?
Karen: It just so happens that I really like football. Just last weekend we curled up on the couch and watched a whole game.
Tim: Really? Who played? [t o Dave] Don't say anything. [to Karen] Who played the game?
Karen: It was that team that has the animal name. And they were playing opposite that team with the quarterback with the really long hair and the high cheek bones.
Jill: Maraschino.
Dave: Marino.
Tim: Marinovich.

Dave: Listen, Tim. Um, I need a favor from you.
Tim: Name it, buddy.
Dave: You and I had lunch together yesterday.
Tim: I was at the project house all day.
Dave: Yeah. I know you were, but if Karen asks, you and I had lunch together.
Tim: Oh...
Dave: It's a tiny favor, Tim.
Tim: It's not a tiny favor. This is a major favor. Come on. Karen's Jill's best friend. I don't think I should know about this.
Dave: All right, all right, all right. I'm seeing someone else.
Tim: I don't want to hear about this.
Dave: She's very nice.
Tim: I don't want to know her.
Dave: She's tall. She's blonde.
Tim: Cut it out. Come on, Dave, Dave, Dave.
Dave: I don't see what the big deal is. I mean, I've only been dating Karen for a month.
Tim: She'll think it's a big deal. She's single and over 35. Do you know what a month is in ovarian years?

Dave: Tim, you gotta help me out. I don't want to hurt Karen.
Tim: Then stop dating tall blondes.
Dave: Look, I gotta be honest with you. I already told her that I had lunch with you yesterday, so it may come up.
Tim: What?
Dave: Boxing Cat Grill. Ham and cheese on rye. Extra mustard.
Tim: Dave, Dave. Come here. David. Dave!

Karen: Did you like the Boxing Cat Grill? It's one of our favorite places.
Tim: Yeah.
Karen: Did you try the pea soup?
Tim: No. Ham and cheese on rye.
Dave: Well, it was fun. Thanks again for lunch, Tim.
Tim: Hey, Dave. Come to think of it. Remember who paid the bill? I think you owe me 20 bucks, don't you?
Dave: [grunts] Oh-ho. There you go.
Tim: Thanks.

Tim: Have fun at the opera. Like that's humanly possible.

Jill: There is something fishy going on here. Either you did something wrong or Dave did.
Tim: Those are my only options?
Jill: Is he seeing somebody else? Don't lie to me.
Tim: Don't lie to you.
Jill: Look at me. Look me in the eye and tell me that he isn't seeing someone else.
Tim: Define "seeing."

Jill: I know you. You're covering for Dave. When you say no, you really mean yes, don't you?
Tim: No.
Jill: See.
Tim: So two noes make a yes?
Jill: Yeah.
Tim: Does that yes mean no?
Jill: No.
Tim: What?!