‘It's My Party’
Season 4, Episode 17 - Aired February 14, 1995
Tim is eager to get involved in Randy's birthday party, even if he doesn't want a snowmobile party, so he builds and waxes a dance floor in the basement.
Quote from Randy
Randy: Oh, great. This place is packed.
Tim: It's busier than usual. You should have had the party in here.
Randy: Dad, it's bad enough you might have broken her ankle. Don't make her listen to your jokes.
Quote from Tim
Tim: Um, since I'm such a good customer, you think I could move them to the head of the line?
Marge: I wish I could help you out, Tim, but Dr. Harris is on tonight and you know what a stickler for the rules he is.
Tim: Dr. Howie Harris?
Marge: Uh-huh.
Tim: He owes me one. I inspired that paper he did on odd head injuries.
Marge: Well, you can try to talk to him. He's in examining room two. Be sure to knock first.
Tim: I always do.
Quote from Randy
Michelle: I'm sorry your party bombed out.
Randy: I'm sorry you hurt your ankle.
Michelle: Me too. When my dad finds out about this, I'll never be able to go to another party again.
Randy: Well, maybe we can hang out together, 'cause I'll never be invited to another party again.
Michelle: I'd like to hang out with you.
Randy: You would?
Michelle: Yeah. But my dad probably won't let me when he finds out I got hurt on your dad's floor.
Randy: Great.
Quote from Jill
Jill: Oh, Mr. Sanford, you're early.
Bert: Well, after seeing your husband in his underwear and your neighbor wandering around naked, I was a little concerned. But it seems like everything's under control here.
Jill: Here? Right here? Yeah, everything's really under control. Want some cake?
Bert: No, no, but I will take some punch if you don't mind.
Jill: You...
Bert: Mm. It's really very different. Make it yourself?
Jill: Uh... Michelle helped.
Bert: It tastes like she had a hand in it.
Jill: Close.
Quote from Tim
Bert: How did this happen?
Tim: It's the same old story, you know. Guy builds dance floor for son, guy overwaxes, girl slips and hurts herself, guy feels terrible, girl's father forgives guy.
Bert: Afraid not.
Tim: I'm sorry, that's how the story goes.
Jill: Look, Mr. Sanford, it was just an accident.
Tim: Like on Tool Time, the show you like - accidents.
Bert: I like when the accidents happen to you, not to my daughter.
Randy: Real smooth, Dad.
Quote from Tim
Michelle: Dad, I'm fine.
Bert: I should have taken you car shopping with me.
Tim: What kind of car did you end up with? Gremlin? An AMC General? Maybe a Hornet?
Bert: No. For your information, I collect muscle cars.
Tim: You?
Bert: Yeah. What I'm really looking for is a '70 GTO.
Tim: [grunts] Yeah! With a big block?
Bert: Of course with a big block. And I'd love to find a convertible.
Tim: [grunts] Oh, yeah. You're a car guy?
Bert: Oh, yeah. I like to take old pieces of junk and restore 'em to cherry.
Tim: Honey, I think I'm in love.
Jill: I won't stand in your way.
Quote from Jill
Tim: I got a '46 Ford convertible I'm trying to retrofit into a hot rod.
Bert: You've got a '46 Ford convertible?
Tim: I do. Wanna see it?
Bert: I do.
Jill: I now pronounce you man and car guy.
Quote from Randy
Jill: Randy, I am so sorry that your birthday worked out this way. If you want, your father and I can make it up to you by taking you and a bunch of your friends to some kind of concert next weekend.
Randy: Why? Is Lulu doing a world tour?
Jill: Ha-ha-ha.
Quote from Tim
Bob: Hey, Tool Man.
Tim: Hey, Bob. Hey, Bob. When you put a shine on a floor like this, how many coats of wax do you use? You gotta use, like, 16?
Bob: One. Only an idiot would do more than that.