Tim: So I'm gonna powder coat the headers one more time to make sure that...
Pete: Yeah, yeah, that's what you said.
Tim: Yeah. The top is all... The whole thing was...
Pete: Right, I know. The German canvas.
Tim: Yeah. Yeah.
Pizza Guy: I should really go.
Tim: Hey! I spent this whole time talking about the hot rod. What do I know about you? I mean, what's new in the pizza business?
Pizza Guy: Well, we're thinking about branching into thick crust.
Tim: Yeah. Well, you're gonna have to get bigger thermal bags.
Pizza Guy: Yeah. We kind of thought of that.
Tim: Well, you know, I should get back to writing, I guess. Unless you need someone to go on a delivery with you.
Pizza Guy: Oh, no. I'll be all right.

Tim: [inner monologue] There you go. Three pounds of cheese and a forty-year-old colon. Perfect. [plays fart sounds from tape]
Tim: Well, that worked.

Tim: Hey, Wilson. You're up late. What are you doing on the old Studebaker? Changing the oil? Flushing the radiator? What?
Wilson: I'm just changing my oil. Then I'm gonna wash my windshields.
Tim: All right! What do you say we pop in a new motor and rebuild the transmission? Gum?
Wilson: Well, no, thank you. My goodness, you're awfully peppy for this time of night.
Tim: Mmm. Peppy, peppy, peppy. Do you think peppy's just a male trait? Or is it a universal trait for all people, all times, huh? Want some gum?
Wilson: No, thank you, Tim. And if I might suggest it, you seem to be three sticks to the wind.
Tim: No. No sticks. No wind. No nothing. I've just been drinking a lot of coffee. Lot of coffee. A lot of caffeine. Lot of coffee. You see, I just got about 36 hours to finish three chapters of my book.
Wilson: Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim, take a breath.

Tim: Sure you don't want some gum?
Wilson: No.
Tim: It's interesting, though, gum. The origin of the word "gum." Think about it. Think about it. Gumby, who's made of clay, huh? They didn't call him Clayby, did they?
Wilson: Go!

Tim: [inner monologue] Who wants to write about feelings? Well, maybe other guys feel the same way. I wonder how they feel about feelings.

Tim: [inner monologue] Nothing's going to keep me from finishing this book. Except maybe those 12 cups of coffee I drank. No, that's an excuse, Tim. I've gotta keep writing. I have to finish this book so others have something to read in the bathroom, which leads me to Chapter 3. "Men Who Read in the Bathroom and the Women Who Need to Vent."

Tim: [inner monologue] Three chapters done. Seven minutes ahead of schedule. [Tim groans] Well, maybe it's time for one more chapter. [Tim groans] No. Well, maybe I'll just knock out the dedication. All right. This book is about men. It's for men. And it's dedicated to meeeeeeeeee....

Brad: "Men, the Prologue."
Tim: It gets better.
Brad: "Beginning this book wasn't an easy task. But through my struggles I learned that a man should trust his instincts. He should face his fears instead of avoiding them."
Tim: Keep reading. Come on.
Brad: "Men shouldn't be afraid to talk to other men about their feelings... as long as it's in the garage. See photos on page eight, 15 and back flap."
Tim: All right, forget that. Move on to Chapter 2.
Brad: Okay. "Nothing makes you feel more like a man than being a father. And nothing makes a man more scared than being a father. That's where the challenge is."

Brad: That's pretty good, Dad. Can't wait to finish it.
Tim: That's because men are impatient.
Brad: So are you gonna analyze everything I say from now on?
Tim: There's an example of a man becoming defensive. And here's an example of a man avoiding confrontation.
Brad: Dad, why are you following me?
Tim: Well, 'cause some men are followers.