‘High School Confidential’
Season 5, Episode 14 - Aired January 16, 1996
After Randy gets in trouble for goofing off in class, his teacher suggests sending him to high school classes.
Quote from Tim
Randy: What's the big deal? Brad always gets detention.
Brad: I'm not getting detention anymore. I just got my second straight A in English. Of Mice and Men.
Tim: Ha-ha. Finally teaching pest control in school. That's good.
Quote from Tim
Jill: I can't believe you're not worried about Randy.
Tim: Would you relax? This is the first time we've been called in. When I was his age, my mom was at school so much, they thought she was an eighth grader with a station wagon.
Jill: My parents first got called in seventh grade. Mrs. Manujen, Home Ec. She gave me a D in casseroles.
Tim: So the problem goes back that far?
Quote from Tim
Jill: I must admit, we were a little surprised to be called in for Randy. He's never been in trouble.
Mr. Marino: Well, we feel the reason Randy's having problems in class is that he's so bright. He's always ahead of the other students.
Tim: Well, what are we doing here? Shouldn't you be talking to the parents of the dumb kids?
Quote from Tim
Jill: Wow! I hadn't realized he was that advanced.
Tim: Well, it's not that surprising. His dad skipped Intermediate Shop, went right to Advanced Metal.
Mr. Marino: Ah. You were a shop prodigy.
Tim: Well, let's just say I was metallurgically well-endowed.
Quote from Tim
Al: Now, I'd like to show everyone my favorite part of the Man's Bedroom - the man's closet. Most men don't like to take the time to coordinate their clothes.
Tim: But in the man's closet, all the work is done for you. Shirts, ties and pants are on rotating drums.
Al: You just push the button for the appropriate occasion.
Tim: I'm going to my mother-in-law's for dinner. My wife's nagging me to look nice, so I push "nag one."
Al: That's a very nice ensemble, Tim.
Tim: Thank you, Al.
Quote from Tim
Tim: Now let's get to the problem of making that man's bed.
Al: That's right. After a man has slept in it, it might look something like this.
Tim: Now, who wants to waste time with hospital corners and fluffing up sheets? You just press the button and the man's bed becomes...
Al: The man's pool table.
Tim: Of course we're gonna need some cues, Al.
Quote from Randy
Jill: OK, Randy. Let's hear it. How was your first day at high school?
Randy: Great. Except for the guy who asked me if I wanted a phone book to sit on.
Jill: Did you tell the teacher?
Randy: It was the teacher. No, but it's cool. He doesn't mind if you call him Baldy.
Jill: We had a teacher we called Baldy. She minded.
Quote from Tim
Tim: Hey, Wilson.
Wilson: Well, hi-ho, Tim.
Tim: You going skiing?
Wilson: Mm-hmm. I don't know if I told you - I'm a biathlete.
Tim: Hey, whatever you do behind closed doors is your business.
Wilson: Well, actually we do it outside.
Tim: [inquisitive grunt]
Wilson: You see, Tim, the biathlon is a combination of cross-country skiing and target shooting. I would have invited you along, but I figured you were quite busy.
Quote from Tim
Jill: Brad, we got a call from your school.
Brad: You did?
Tim: They say you're not turning in your homework and your grades have been slipping.
Brad: So, things are back to normal.
Tim: What are you talking about? Up until last week, you were having the best year ever.
Jill: Brad, does this have anything to do with Randy going to your school?
Brad: No.
Tim: Does this have anything to do with the Man's Bedroom?
Quote from Tim
Brad: School's hard for me, Mom.
Jill: I know. Brad, your best quality has always been that you don't give up when things get difficult.
I remember when you were a baby, and you first started eating solid food, the spoon never got near your mouth, you had applesauce all over your hair.
Tim: Peas in your nose. Which wasn't very attractive because you sneezed a lot then. Yeah.
Jill: But the important thing is you wouldn't let us help. You had to do it until you could do it yourself. Or when you started learning how to ride a bike.
Tim: Remember that bike I built for you? The Stingray? The small chassis thing, we did the metal plate paint job on that. It had a banana seat and it had a heated seat in that. We had a coil running through that...