Marty: Tim, let me get this straight, you're saying it doesn't bother you that Jill just walked out of here with that guy?
Tim: Will you let it go, Marty? She said he's a friend, that's what he is. A friend. OK?
Marty: Yeah, just like she was with that guy helpin' her with her resume.
Harry: Oh, yeah, the guy that hit on her right in your own house.
Tim: She wasn't interested in that guy, OK? It was a different story. Plus, besides, he was better looking than monkey boy here.
Al: I thought Chris was a nice-looking man.
Tim: Maybe you want to date him.

Marty: Al, you find me attractive, don't ya?

Jill: Well, that was quite a display you put on here tonight!
Tim: Yeah, I really wowed 'em with that intellectual razzmatazz, didn't I?
Jill: You were checking up on me.
Tim: No, I wasn't!
Jill: What did you think was gonna happen? Did you think that Chris and I were gonna make wild, passionate love right here in front of the book club?
Tim: Would have probably been more exciting.

Jill: You didn't have to do that.
Tim: Yes, I did. I did this to prove that I could be your soul mate.
Jill: What are you talking about?
Tim: Soul mate? The person that can talk about stuff you're passionate about?
Jill: Well, by that definition your soul mate would be the guy who rotates your tires!
Tim: Now, now, you leave Murray out of this!

Tim: Believe it? Four jacks again, read 'em and weep. I guess you guys learned a lesson - don't play with the poker champ.
Brad: You must be real proud of yourself, Dad. Wiping out three kids who've never played poker before.
Tim: Well, hustle up and get your piggy banks and bring Daddy his money.
Randy: I'll give you an l.O.U.
Tim: I'll need some ID.