Al: Hi! Are we still on for hibachi night at your place?
Trudy: You betcha! I picked up the hamburger meat. You just bring the buns.

Bud: Good afternoon, Tim.
Tim: Bud, we're gonna have to talk about these changes you're making on the show.
Morgan: Hey, Tool Man! Beautiful show. Loving it. Loving you.
Tim: Well, why don't you love me from over there? And tell me who the hell you are.
Bud: Tim, this is the man I've chosen to supervise Tool Time, Binford's new VP of Media Production, Morgan Wandell.
Morgan: And you don't have to call me Mr. Wandell. You call me Morgan.
Tim: Or I may go with something else.

Tim: Morgan Wandell. The guy's been on the set... What? One day. And everybody's miserable. Everybody is miserable.
Al: [runs in] Hey, guys! I am walking on sunshine!
Jill: I guess he's crying on the inside.

Jill: I'm so sorry, Al.
Tim: So am I.
Al: I can't believe I killed my mother!
Jill: This was a terrible tragedy. But you had nothing to do with it.
Al: Well, she died because she was distraught over my getting married.
Jill: No!
Tim: You don't know that. It could've been all the excitement at dinner.

Tim: It's pretty nice of her to come down here and bake you a shepherd's pie with double meat.
Al: To be honest, I just wish she'd kind of back off!
Tim: What are you talking about? A couple days ago you wanted to propose to her.
Al: Well, that was two days ago.
Tim: What's happened?
Al: Two days ago my whole life changed!
Tim: Oh, come on, Al. I know you feel like that now. But you and Trudy still love each other and everything else is the same.
Heidi: [introducing Tool Time] Let's get ready to repair!

Brad: Wow. Heidi seems really upset. I think I should go comfort her.

Al: I just can't believe she's gone. I'm so alone.
Tim: You're not alone. You're not alone. You got me, buddy.
Al: I know.
Tim: You got your friends, your family, you know? And Trudy, who really, really loves you.
Al: And I really love her. But I... I don't think my mother really wanted me to marry Trudy.
Tim: Did she say that?
Al: No. But I think actions speak louder than words!
Tim: Al, I don't think that's what she meant. You can't re-live...

Al: Crying? I am flying! I have decided the time is right to ask Trudy for her hand in marriage.
Tim: Get out! Hey! Congratulations.
Jill: Oh, my God! That's so great!
Al: Yeah. That's right. After I walked Trudy to her car, I ran into Dirk. And he sold me one of his diamonds.
Tim: Ooh!
Jill: Al, this is so beautiful.
Al: Yes, it is! I really love the cleavage.
Jill: Oh. [looks down] Well, thank you. But, gosh! It's so pretty.

Morgan: Well, I have an extensive background in entertainment and reality television. I'm particularly proud of my last special.
Bud: Topless Cops on Ice. Oh, that was...
Morgan: And we feel that the stuff you do on Tool Time could be in that same league.
Tim: Really?
Morgan: Uh-huh.