Mark: I'd love to go out with Erica. Just all she does is complain about her jerk boyfriend.
Brad: Mark, Mark, wake up. She's using you as her shoulder to cry on. You know what that means, right?
Mark: Yeah. She thinks I'm a girl.
Brad: No. No. She thinks you're a caring, sensitive listener. And when she finally breaks up with that jerk boyfriend of hers, you're in the pole position.
Mark: All I have to do is just sit on the phone and listen?
Brad: You don't even have to listen. Just pretend. Every so often say lines like "I sympathize with your needs." And when you want to whip out the big guns, try "I hurt when you hurt."
Mark: This is so devious. Thank you.