Jill: Tim, when I went to work this morning, I had a son who was headed for college. Now I've got a Chubb.
Brad: Dad, I talked to Simon. I'm gonna be playing professional soccer.
Tim: What?
Jill: Don't act so surprised. You're the one that told him to do it.
Tim: I have no idea what you guys are talking about.
Jill: You invited Simon to go watch him play, right? You told Brad that he was good enough to play pro.
Tim: ... Have you lost weight?