Tim: Today on Tool Time, we're gonna talk about a real American hero - the supersize sausage... submarine, also known as the SS Cholesterol.
Al: I thought we were talking about squeaky floors.
Tim: We are, we are.
Al: And the obvious connection would be?
Tim: Stick with me. Let's say your wife has you on one of those low-cal mulch and grass diets, but you got one of these bad boys hidden out in that camp cooler in the garage. So you wait till she drifts off to sleep, snoring like a band saw. You creep out to the garage to get it, but as soon as your feet hit the floor, what happens? [wood creaks] She wakes up. "Hey, leave that submarine sandwich alone, you big tub of lard! Get back into bed! You're gonna be eating nothing but fiber for three months!" And you doubted the connection.
Al: I'm hating myself now.