[dream sequence:]
Pizza Guy: [v.o.] In an amazing development, Tim Taylor's book has sold 12 million copies before even hitting the shelves.
Leeza Gibbons: Now on tomorrow's show, the man who wrote Man is going to teach us what it means to be a man, and also make us better women for it. Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. That's tomorrow.
Jay Leno: Folks, I want to apologize. Instead of getting a literary genius like Tim Taylor, we're stuck tonight with Jack Nicholson and Marlon Brando. [audience groan]
Oprah: Next week, Pulitzer Prize-winning author Toni Morrison is here, not to read from her latest book, but from the much anticipated bestseller by Tim Taylor.
Pizza Guy: [v.o.] This makes it the best-selling volume in the world, second only to the Bible.