Tim: Wilson.
Wilson: Nighty-ho, good neighbor.
Tim: What are you barbecuing at 4am for?
Wilson: Well, it may be 4am in Detroit, but it's dinnertime in Mindanao.
Tim: Huh?
Wilson: Tonight is their annual Zamboanga festival.
Tim: Zamboanga? I love watching those bad boys clear the ice before a hockey game, huh?
Wilson: No, no, Tim. The festival is a celebration of multiculturalism in the Philippines. Would you like some barbecued pork?
Tim: No, I'm battling a gutful of Polish food. I overdid it tonight.
Wilson: Hm. Well, as the Roman poet Lucan said: "Keep to moderation, keep the end in view, follow nature."
Tim: Well, my end has been following nature all night. I'll never do that again. Although that pork is smelling mighty good.
Wilson: Go to bed, Tim.