Tim: Why don't we go through my typical day then? I get up, I scratch, I get in the bathroom. First I wanna get rid of that horrible morning breath. You got everything here you need. You got your soap. You got a little bit of your mouthwash. [sprays dispenser into his mouth] No, that's the soap. That's the mouthwash. To get that deep-down, manly dirt off, you gotta jump in your multihead shower. Hop out, stand over your built-in floor drain. Gotta get dry real quick. [dryer buzzes] I'm dry. Well, ready to shave. I can't shave in the dark. I'll need my trusty... headlights!
Al: Also useful in case a deer wanders into your bathroom.
Tim: For those pesky nose hairs, you flip on your brights. All right, all right. Well... the bathroom has everything, including the brand-new La-Z-Bowl reclining toilet. [audience applauds] It's plush when you flush.
Al: And jukebox, phone and a rack for your hot rod magazines within easy reach. If there were a refrigerator in here, you'd never have to leave.
Tim: Did you say "if"?
Al: Brewski?
Tim: You bet, buddy. Between the beer and the bathroom, we call this a male recycling center Guys are going, "Jeez, Tim, you spend so much time in the bathroom, you won't know what's going on in the big game." Got it covered. Go, go, go, go!
Tim & Al: Touchdown!