Delores: Tool Man, I'm gonna glaze you that ham.
Tim: Glaze away, baby.

Al: Actually, this is a mock-up of an automated house.
Tim: Wow, now you tell me! I had half my stuff moved in there already.
Dennis: The automated home is controlled by a touch screen which is hooked into a central computer.
Al: That's right. With the simple touch of your finger you can turn on your air conditioning, your stereo...
Tim: Or your lights.
Al: Red lights?
Tim: Oops, wrong district.

Jill: Well, guys, I just did my first oil change on the Healey.
Randy: Congratulations. How'd you manage to stay so clean?
Tim: She used me for a drop cloth.
Jill: And a shop rag.
Tim: Well, now I gotta change.

Tim: I can't stand this. When I want the phone, one of my strapping young boys is clucking like a hen on the phone. [clucking]

Delores: But Dennis has found a career he really loves, isn't that right?
Dennis: Oh, yeah. It's awesome. I mean, the technology's changing every day.
Tim: Yeah, I read a lot...
Dennis: And the best thing is, I'm smack dab in the middle of it!
Tim: Congratulations...
Dennis: And I'm getting paid for it! I mean, it's the coolest job.
Tim: Boy, you're perky, Dennis!
Harry: Yeah. He takes after his mother.
Delores: [mouth full] Shut up, Harry!

Delores: You should have him automate your house.
Harry: Hey! Don't start, Delores! Tim doesn't like to be pushed into buying things.
Tim: Oh, yes, I do.

Tim: Think you can do it?
Dennis: Sure, while I'm there maybe I can sell you on one of these video phones.
Tim: Does this thing work?
Dennis: Yeah, here, check it out. I'll just speed dial the hardware store.
Al: [on video phone] Hello. Harry's Hardware. This is Al.
Tim: You know, there's just some things you don't want to see.

Tim: Mark's on the phone.
Jill: What? He's been on the phone all day. I told him an hour ago no more calls.
Tim: [on the phone] Mark, did your mom tell you an hour ago to get off the phone? Yeah. Well, stop the girlie chitchat and get off the phone. [hangs up] Big news! Katie likes Trevor!
Jill: Katie likes Trevor? I thought Katie liked Justin. And then Justin likes Chloe.
Tim: You gotta let this go.

Mark: Dad, don't you ever do that again! That was a really important call.
Tim: Excuse me. Who do you think you're talking to?
Mark: Not my friends, thanks to you!
Jill: Mark, I told you 45 minutes was the limit.
Tim: Apparently you don't feel like playing by the rules, though?
Mark: It's a stupid rule!
Tim: Stupid rule, huh? Well, how about three days without phone calls?
Mark: Dad! That's a...
Tim: You want to argue with me? It'll be a week!
Mark: [sighs] This bites!
Tim: Oh, yeah? How about three weeks without a phone call? That'll... that'll "bite!"

Tim: Guys, listen up. I think I can pull that second line down by myself if you help me upstairs. I'll hook it on the fish tape, wrap it around there, we'll send it back down. Use the intercom to talk to me. You, Mom looks up, you distract her. Big arms, big gestures. Big hands! Big hands! Big hands! Big hands!
Brad: Gotcha!