‘Clash of the Taylors’
Season 7, Episode 2 - Aired September 30, 1997
Tim is upset when Randy questions Binford's environmental record in an article for the school player.
Quote from Tim
Gus: How about answering the man?
Audience: Yeah!
Gail: Hey. How come every time I drive by the plant all that smoke is coming out of the stacks?
Tim & Al: They're smokestacks!
Tim: What do you expect coming out of there? Whipped cream? What do you want, huh?
Quote from Al
Gus: I think they're both in on it.
Ralph: Absolutely!
Gail: Yeah!
Al: This is a witch hunt.
Gail: Oh, come on. We want the truth!
Gus: And we want it now!
Ralph: Yeah!
Al: You are out of order. And you are out of order! You know, this whole audience is out of order!
Ralph: Well, you're nothing but a big flannel fraud!
Audience: Yeah!
Tim & Al: We'll be right back after these messages from Binford Tools.
Al: All right, that's it! Show's over! Everybody get out!
Quote from Tim
Wilson: Well, Tim, when you were Randy's age didn't you have some burning cause that you were passionate about?
Tim: Auto shop. They tried to eliminate it from my school and I fought to keep it there. Everybody thought I was crazy. I just fought harder.
Wilson: Did it cause you to act in an obnoxious way?
Tim: Uh-uh. Not unless you consider hot gluing the principal's door shut obnoxious.
Wilson: Especially if the principal was inside the office.
Tim: And he was.
Quote from Tim
Tim: Thanks, Wilson. You can go back to your "transcen-dental floss" thing.
Quote from Tim
Mark: Still peeling potatoes?
Tim: Potato. It takes longer to peel these things than it does to grow them.
Brad: Wow. I'm surprised you haven't developed the Power Peeler.
Tim: [grunts] Hey.
Quote from Tim
Randy: Writing about Binford sounds like a good idea.
Tim: I'll get you some pamphlets. They got a whole bunch of them on their environmental policy. Probably cleared a rain forest just to print them. [chuckles]
Quote from Tim
Jill: Potatoes again.
Tim: You bet.
Jill: What have you done to my peeler?
Tim: What was once electric is now pneumatic. I can shear 50 pounds of potatoes in six seconds. [holds up a tiny triangle of sheared potato]
Jill: You must be so proud.
Tim: I have my days.
Quote from Tim
Tim: So, how did your first day of counseling go?
Jill: Don't ask. This couple just did not get that secondary reactive emotions lead to negative interaction.
Tim: Wow. Some people are so thick.
Quote from Tim
Randy: Dad, I was just doing some research on Binford for my article.
Tim: Did you read the pamphlets I gave you?
Randy: Yeah, but then I got on the Internet and got Pollution Watcher's top ten list for Detroit. You know Binford's on here.
Tim: Binford made the top ten? All right!
Randy: No, Dad, it's a list of the top ten biggest polluters.
Tim: Binford?
Jill: I didn't know Binford had a problem with pollution.
Tim: They don't have a problem with pollution! These environmentalists tend to overreact. You know, just like the dentist. Those wussy dentists that scurry out of the room when the x-ray goes on, huh?
Quote from Tim
Randy: Dad, it's right on the printout.
Tim: You know, just because you read it on the Internet does not make it true. You want to find the facts? Let's go right to the horse's mouth. I'll set up an interview with Bud Harper.
Randy: Dad, you really think the president of Binford's gonna want to meet with a high-school kid?
Tim: Maybe I'll remind him the high-school kid's father is Binford's biggest TV star.
Jill: Who just spent a whole week inventing the world's stupidest potato peeler.