Tim: Well, you know, Lisa, it looks like John's decked out in Binford's latest line of camping gear, huh?
Lisa: That's right. Everything Mr. Binford's wearing is totally insulated and electroheated. The entire ensemble has 120 volts in it.
Tim: Boy, you step out in the rain and you're a goner, boss.
Al: Not true, Tim. The entire Binford line is completely water-resistant.
Tim: Just like you.

Al: Well, maybe I can help. Mr. Binford, why don't I take Tim's place?
Tim: Oh, great idea.
Al: I can take videotapes of me enjoying the camping equipment.
Mr. Binford: Who would want to watch a bachelor talk to himself in the forest?

Jill: Bradley, why didn't you give her your valentine?
Brad: Because Bobby Pilsky gave her a huge one, and he made it himself. I'm not gonna give her a dinky G.I. Joe one.
Jill: Well, why don't you make one yourself?
Brad: I'm not good at that stuff.
Jill: Well, I am. Go get some construction paper. I think I have... Yes, yes. Some red glitter, and maybe some doilies.
Brad: Oh, no. Not doilies!

Jill: Oh, oh, honey, I have something I want to show you. This is all I'm gonna be wearing this weekend.
Tim: Boy, are you gonna be cold.
There's been a little change in plans.
Jill: Change. What change?
Tim: Jill, you really love me, don't you?
Jill: Of course.
Tim: And we're always gonna be together, right?
Jill: Yes. Unless we're not going to the Stone Creek Lodge this weekend.

Tim: Today on Tool Time. I started telling everybody how we like to go camping as a family. And we do, don't we?
Jill: Just get to the really funny part.
Tim: OK. Oh, let me gather myself. This is just so funny. I told Mr. Binford that I'd take you all winter camping and videotape it this weekend.
Jill: Well, I guess I won't be needing this.
Tim: Jill, I didn't plan it like this. He cornered me. He offered me a bonus. It's some camping thing. I couldn't make him mad.
Jill: But you can make me mad.
Tim: Yeah. [off Jill's look] No. No.

Tim: Come on, boys, sing with me. A camping we will go, a camping we will go Hi-ho, the dairy-o, ho-ho, ho-ho, ho-ho

Tim: What took you so long, honey?
Jill: I had a little problem with that hill. I slid down it.
Tim: Are you all right?
Jill: No. I'm fine. I'm fine. A tree broke my fall.

Jill: I don't wanna sound like I'm complaining or anything, but I'm so cold I can't feel my toes.
Tim: Did you turn on your electric socks?
Jill: No.
Tim: I did, and my feet are roasty-toasty warm.
Jill: Look, let's just pitch the tent, build the fire, sing "Kumbaya", and get out of here.

Jill: What is the deal with that string?
Tim: Well... I found the car. And I moved it up to this little hill. So I wouldn't lose it this time, but just to make sure, I took this 200-pound test fishing line, tied one end to the bumper and the other end's being tied to me. We're not losing the car again.