Samantha: I'm glad you guys are positive about our engagement. It's really important to us.
Brad: Yeah, they had a little trouble at first. But then they realized how committed we are and they came around.
Tim: It's good for us, too.
Samantha: Oh, what do you mean?
Tim: Well, we've been real worried about putting three boys through college. And now we just have to worry about Mark and Randy.
Brad: Why, I still want to go to college.
Jill: Oh, sure, honey. But, you know, you're gonna be married and on your own. So, you have to pay for it yourself.
Brad: All right, that's fine. I mean, I'll probably get a scholarship anyway.
Samantha: And even if you don't, I'll get a job when I graduate next year. I'll pay your tuition.
Brad: No, you shouldn't have to do that. If that happens, I just won't go to college.
Samantha: Brad, I don't want our children to have a father who never went to college.
Brad: Children?

Jill: Oh, yeah. Children. Mmm. Have you decided how many you want to have? Because I am very excited about the idea of grandchildren.
Samantha: Oh, I'd like one of each.
Tim: How about you, Brad?
Brad: Children?
Tim: Sure. You're gonna love them, coming home to their chubby little faces after a long night of delivering pizzas.
Brad: So, what makes you think I'll be delivering pizzas? Maybe I'll still work at the sporting goods store.
Jill: Oh. Well, yeah. But, you know, you're gonna probably need a second job to support the kids.
Brad: OK. I see what you're doing here. You're trying to scare us. It's not going to work.
Samantha: Well, Brad, if your parents are having a problem, we should talk this out.
Brad: No, Samantha, I'm through talking. I mean, I talked to them. They said they were gonna be supportive. I guess it was just an act. Let's get out of here.
Samantha: Well, thanks for dinner. It was... OK.

Tim: Well, that went well.
Jill: Did you see Brad's face when he heard the word "children"? I think we had a real effect on them.
Tim: Maybe. Or they could be headed across the state line to get married right now. Congratulations, Granny.

Brad: I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Samantha: It's OK. My parents are gonna go ballistic when I tell them we're getting married.
Brad: You haven't told them yet?
Samantha: No. I wanted to wait until they made my next car payment.

Jill: I need more plasticware for these leftovers. [Tim picks up melted plastic tubs] Oh, man!

Brad: Samantha and I decided not to follow through on this whole marriage thing.
Jill: Really? How come?
Brad: Lots of reasons. But, you know, none of this had anything to do with what you guys said.
Jill: No. Of course not.
Tim: You're old enough to make your own decisions, son.
Brad: That's right, Dad. Goodnight.
Tim: 'Night.
Jill: Goodnight, honey.

[outtake:]
Tim: What we're gonna do is, I'm gonna use this practice balloon sent over by the Straub Barber College.
Milton: Hey!
Tim & Milton: [in unison] I don't go for that sort of thing!
Al: [laughs] I don't go for that sort of thing.
Tim: You scared the [bleep] out of me.
Al: I don't like to be scared.
Tim: I don't like to be scared.