Lorelai: I wasn't going to stay that long. I don't know if he even has many friends any more. All of his old buddies are scattered all around, you know? And his support group is two and heavily into Sesame Street.
Rory: What time did you finally get home?
Lorelai: Sun high, birds sing, head hurts.

Lorelai: The night took a very weird turn when he started coming up with all of his dad's negative traits corresponding to the letters of the alphabet.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: 'A' he was absent, 'B' he was a bully, 'C' he was cold, 'D' he was dreary...
Rory: What was 'K'?
Lorelai: He was Kuwait-y.
Rory: Kuwait-y, like the country?
Lorelai: Yes, as it got later it got sillier.

Lorelai: Children should shoot us for what we make them do.

Taylor Doose: What are you doing? Where's Lulu?
Kirk: She's sick. I tried to find you but you weren't around and I didn't know what to do.
Taylor Doose: Everyone's looking!
Kirk: I didn't want to let the town down, with the press here and all, so I just did it myself.
Girl: That's the ugliest lady I've ever seen.
Taylor Doose: This is far and away the worst thing you have ever done. I am livid with you!
Kirk: We're not supposed to be arguing, Taylor. We're supposed to be making love.

Emily: I was going to check on the dog. I was thinking of putting up some fliers around the neighborhood. Fliers are tacky, but they work. And I thought you could look up on your computer where the best place to print them is.
Richard: The dog is gone.
Emily: Gone? He's gone?
Richard: She's gone.
Emily: I thought you said it was a boy.
Richard: Well, apparently I misread what I saw.
Emily: She was very hairy down there.

Lorelai: [on the phone] Believe me, I know the futility of fighting Mother Nature. She's been a real "mother" lately. Almost rivals my mother. Yeah, but you and your plow do control Mother Nature's droppings, a.k.a. the snow, and all I'm saying is could you try to keep it from blocking the Dragonfly's one and only driveway? You know, it kind of blocks us in and we get all cranky and claustrophobic, especially when we're out of coffee, which I'm not anticipating, but I didn't anticipate it before and it happened, and I suffered withdrawal pains. Right. Well, I really appreciate it. I actually like plows, you know? They look like fun. Right. I'm sure plowing doesn't pay enough, though. No, that part's not fun. I used to be a maid. I know low wages. Well, I'm really not comfortable telling you what I made then or what I make now. Just, anything you can do will help. Okay, thank you.

Lorelai: What is this?
Luke: It's an ice rink.
Lorelai: An ice rink? How did this happen?
Luke: Jack Frost brought it.
Lorelai: Does he look like Luke Danes?
Luke: A little. Not as handsome.
Lorelai: You made me an ice rink?
Luke: It's just a rink in a box. You set it up, you fill it with water, it's not a big deal.
Lorelai: It is a big deal. It's a very big deal.

Lorelai: You want to be Randy to my Tai?
Luke: Nah, I'll just watch.