Emily: You know, when I was turning 21, I somehow got it into my head that I simply had to have my invitations trimmed with real pearls. I could not be convinced that it was at all tacky or impractical. I was right, and that was the way it had to be. My mother was beside herself. I never heard so much sighing in my whole life. But in the end, she found me invitations lined with real pearls, and I felt like the most important girl in the world.

Lorelai: Wow! Looks great, guys.
Babette: [chuckles] Yeah, we made it bigger this year. And we added a great new light effect to help Morey's face look more distorted when he drops because, you know, when you really get hanged, your eyeballs sometimes explode and your tongue splits down the middle. It's disgusting. Wanna see?
Lorelai: Uh...
Babette: Morey, shake a leg.
Morey: Okay. All set.
Babette: Okay, bombs away! Now, remember, you got to twitch around a lot, make the kids think you're dying real slow and painful. Obviously there'll be some blood shooting out, some screams, but you get the picture.
Lorelai: I-I-I do.
Morey: Babette? Tight, babe.
Lorelai: Do you need help, Babette?
Babette: Oh, no, as soon as he passes out, his muscles relax and I can slide him right out. We'll be good.

Lorelai: This year, I have decided to do a whole new thing for Halloween.
Luke: You're not gonna hang the caramel apples again?
Lorelai: Caramel apples aren't scary.
Luke: Well, what's scary is you opening your house up to a mob of insane, sugar-laced kids wearing masks that conveniently hide any identifying features.

Lorelai: Yes, I want to be a mad scientist. I'm gonna come out in a blood-stained white lab coat and freaky makeup and big, giant, Don King kind of hairdo, and I'm going to turn the whole front yard into my laboratory.
Luke: Wow.
Lorelai: Yes, I'm gonna have a huge electric chair and an operating table and test tubes and wires.
Luke: Sounds elaborate.
Lorelai: You haven't heard the half of it, okay? And so I come out and I do mad scientist banter, like, "Hey, who here is from Bellevue?" And "Girl Interrupted? That's my idea of a feel-good movie." I'll work on it. But anyway, after that, I'm gonna drag you out.
Luke: What?
Lorelai: You're strapped in an electric chair, and I'm gonna throw the switch and totally electrocute you. And you're flailing around. We'll rig something where smoke and sparks shoot out of your nose. And then once you're dead, I'll throw you onto the operating table and I'll cut you open. And I pull link sausages out of you and throw them into the crowd.
Luke: That's it?
Lorelai: Well, I mean, we can take a bow or something, but, yeah, that's it.

Luke: Okay. Uh, just a couple of questions here. Once you've electrocuted me and I'm dead, uh, how exactly do I get to the operating table?
Lorelai: Uh, good question. Maybe I can position the operating table right near the electric chair so I can just flop you over onto it after you die.
Luke: Okay, let's say we work that out. Now that I'm on the table, you're gonna cut me open with what?
Lorelai: A big, rusty saw.
Luke: And then you're gonna pull link sausages out of me.
Lorelai: Real slow and creepy like.
Luke: Okay, great. Last question. Uh, what are the odds of you getting me to do a skit where you electrocute me, cut me open, and pull link sausages out of me? 'Cause I'm thinking they're right up there with Pia Zadora making a big comeback.
Lorelai: Oh, come on.This will be fun.
Luke: No way, not happening.
Lorelai: But this is our first Halloween together as a full-blown, committed, soon-to-be-married couple. We need to start our own traditions.
Luke: I'll tell you what, I'll build you the chair, help with the test tubes, and then I'm done.
Lorelai: But you would be so scary with smoke coming out of your nose. I really want to see that.
Luke: Well, we're gonna be together the rest of our lives, so odds are you will.

Sookie: Okay, so, what kind of link sausage would you like to pull out of Luke?
Lorelai: I'm not sure. Nothing too wimpy. Luke's a big guy, so he needs big-guy sausage.
Sookie: Don't we all.
Lorelai: Don't make my man's sausage dirty.
Sookie: Well, you could go kielbasa. That's a big-guy sausage.
Lorelai: I guess. Technically, Luke hasn't agreed to let me pull anything out of him.
Sookie: Small detail.
Lorelai: Minuscule roadblock.
Sookie: Well, personally, I love the Louisiana sweet sausage 'cause it has the nicest flavor. A little bite, but not too overwhelming.
Lorelai: I'm not gonna eat the sausage, I'm going to pull it out of Luke.

Rory: What happened to the pool house?
Emily: What do you mean?
Rory: It's full of stuff.
Emily: Oh, yes, the rentals. I had absolutely nowhere to put them. They said it might rain tonight, and I couldn't leave them outside so I just put them in the pool house.
Rory: But I live in the pool house. What am I supposed to do?
Emily: Oh, I packed up your things and put them in your old room upstairs.
Rory: Upstairs?
Emily: Uh-huh. The room right next to ours. We can knock secret-code messages to each other like we're in camp.

Lorelai: Rory called.
Luke: I know. She called and yelled at me.
Lorelai: No, she called and yelled at me.
Luke: Yeah, but I'm the one who had to hear it, and she was loud. And she said "hell." I never heard her say "hell." I didn't even know she knew how to say "hell." [scoffs] She was mad and she yelled and she said "hell."
Lorelai: Yeah, but she called.

Emily: Keep those fans going. I don't want the whole house to smell of raw fish. Disgusting food.

Emily: Have you tried your drink?
Rory: My what?
Emily: Your signature drink. I had the bartender concoct it for you. It's called "the Rory." It's got champagne, vodka, pineapple juice, and grenadine. Have one. You're old enough now.
Rory: Maybe later. Empty stomach.
Emily: Well, there's plenty to eat, so that can be remedied.