Michel: You double-clicked on 'Confirmation'?
Lorelai: I double-clicked.
Michel: Are you sure?
Lorelai: Yes. I double-clicked.
Michel: You clicked twice?
Lorelai: No, I didn't click twice.
Michel: To successfully double-click, you must click twice.
Lorelai: I know what double-click is.
Michel: You don't, or we wouldn't be having this conversation.
Lorelai: I'm gonna pinch you so hard now.

Lorelai: [answers phone] Independence Inn.
Emily: I need the hatrack.
Lorelai: The fish flies at night.
Emily: What?
Lorelai: I don't know. Who is this?
Emily: This is your mother.
Lorelai: Oh, well, hi, Mom, I didn't recognize your voice.

Lorelai: [on the phone] You need a Christmas present back?
Emily: Temporarily.
Lorelai: Why, Mom?
Emily: Because Richard's mother gave it to us, and she'll notice if it's not there.
Lorelai: You gave me a used present?
Emily: No, we never used it.
Lorelai: I can't believe it.
Emily: You'll get it back.
Lorelai: You gave me a secondhand present, like something you got at the junk store.
Emily: You're being a little dramatic. It was still in the crate.
Lorelai: Huh. You actually went, "What should I get Lorelai this year? You know what? I can't be bothered. Let's give her something we don't want."
Emily: You're not funny.
Lorelai: What would Miss Manners say to this?
Emily: If she met your grandma, she'd understand.

Rory: Meaning next time maybe you should pick a girl with a little more substance. You know, a girl who's smart, is driven and has ambition. You know, like Paris.
Tristin: Are you serious?
Rory: Yeah, why not? Paris is smart and cute and interesting. And yes, she does bring her own unique set of baggage into the mix.
Tristin: A matching set.
Rory: But she likes you. She's crazy about you. She thinks you're amazing.
Tristin: You want me to date Paris?
Rory: Just think about it.
Tristin: Me and Paris.
Rory: "Louis, I think this is the beginning of a wonderful friendship."
Tristin: Who's Louis?
Rory: Just think.

Rory: What's up with you?
Lorelai: Nothing.
Rory: You've been ready and bugging me for almost an hour. Usually I have to drag you kicking and screaming to go to dinner. You whine, complain and act like a child.
Lorelai: I do not.
Rory: I had to pay you $5 once so you wouldn't go in sweats.

Rory: You want to go to dinner to see Grandma uncomfortable. That's mean.
Lorelai: Okay, look. I will admit I work very hard and sometimes I am a little tired come Friday night for the Gilmore family dinner. But I had a light day today and my grandmother, who I haven't seen in years, is going to be there.
Rory: And it has nothing to do with Grandma hating Great-grandma?
Lorelai: Not at all.
Rory: And when you see Grandma miserable and uncomfortable, you'll be sympathetic?
Lorelai: Not at all.
Rory: Mean.
Lorelai: I'm kidding.

Lorelai: How'd you get her in here without her noticing it wasn't there?
Emily: Well, I brought her in through the back and had Stella wax the floors. Also, she napped, so that took about an hour.
Rory: Where is she now?
Emily: In the living room scratching the diamond pendant I bought her against a mirror.
Lorelai: So we shouldn't keep her waiting, huh?
Emily: No, you're right, we shouldn't. Ugh, heaven help me.

Trix: Good, that means the majority of your blood is Gilmore blood. Gilmores don't get sick. Am I right?
Richard: We wouldn't dare, Trix.
Trix: That's right. Your mother is always sick.
Emily: I am hardly always sick.
Trix: You're sick right now.
Lorelai: Are you sick now, Mom?
Emily: Headache.
Trix: Gilmore's don't have headaches. Our heads are perfect.

Trix: So, Lorelai, since I've seen you last, you've grown up, gotten pregnant out of wedlock, raised a child, and still haven't bothered to get married. Have I left anything out?
Lorelai: Well, uh, some time in between growing up and getting pregnant, I got my ears pierced.
Trix: I've always hated scandal. However, I've always appreciated self-sufficiency. Tell me, how do you support this child?
Lorelai: I run an inn.
Trix: Hard work?
Lorelai: Yes, it is.
Trix: Good. Hard work is good for a woman. Makes her stronger. I admire people who enjoy hard work.

Lorelai: So, Gran, when was the last time I saw you?
Trix: You were still in your teens, wild hair flying everywhere. I see you've taken care of that.
Lorelai: Yes, I joined a support group, bought a hair brush and just taking it one day at a time.
Trix: That was a joke?
Lorelai: Yes, it is.
Trix: Very good.
Lorelai: Thank you.