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‘The Third Lorelai’ Quotes Page 1 of 6    

Gilmore Girls: The Third Lorelai

118. The Third Lorelai

Aired March 22, 2001

Richard's mother, Trix (Marion Ross), visits from London and drives a wedge between Emily and Lorelai. Meanwhile, Rory encourages Tristin to ask Paris out.

Quote from Emily

Emily: Well, this is just ridiculous. Three intelligent women sitting here in complete silence. There must be something we can talk about. Do you know that every night at dinner the Kennedy clan would sit around the table having lively debates about everything under the sun? They would quiz each other about current events historical facts, and intellectual trivia. Now, the Gilmore clan is just as smart and worldly as the Kennedys. So, come on, somebody say something.
Lorelai: Do you know that a butt model makes $10,000 a day?
Emily: Camelot is truly dead.

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Quote from Lorelai

Emily: You were on the phone.
Richard: Long distance.
Lorelai: God?
Richard: London.
Lorelai: God lives in London?
Richard: My mother lives in London.
Lorelai: Your mother is God?
Richard: Lorelai.
Lorelai: So, God is a woman.
Richard: Lorelai.
Lorelai: And a relative. That's so cool. I'm gonna totally ask for favors.
Richard: Make her stop.
Rory: Oh, that I could.

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: I still can't get over that I'm related to God. It's going to make getting Madonna tickets so much easier.

Quote from Emily

Emily: I have to get out everything she has ever given us. Thirty-five years' worth of fish lamps and dog statues, lion tables and stupid naked angels with their butts!
Lorelai: Whoa. Stupid naked angel butts? What, did David Mamet just stop by?
Emily: Leave, please.
Lorelai: Mom, calm down.
Emily: I can't calm down! That lampshade is missing, and the china is cracked. And I can't remember which table it is she gave us for our 10-year anniversary.
Lorelai: Mother, Grandma is a very old woman. I highly doubt she'll remember everything she ever bought you.
Emily: She will remember down to the last shrimp fork. And do you know why?
Lorelai: No. Do you know why?
Emily: Because she doesn't just give you a present. She gives you a present, then tells you where to put it how to use it, what it costs, for insurance purposes, of course. And God forbid if you have a different opinion or you don't think it works in the space. Or you get tired of waking up every day with those animals staring at you!
Lorelai: She's just upset.
Emily: Stop talking to the dogs!

Quote from Paris

Paris: I think that the basic structure of the Elizabethan government is sound. The division of power between the Monarchy, Privy Council and the Parliament all seem to work. Agreed?
Madeline: Agreed.
Louise: Ditto.
Paris: Okay, so in establishing our own government, I think duplicating a similar structure would be good with a few alterations. Queen Elizabeth chose to remain unwed. She took on the burden of leadership all by herself at a time when marrying the Prince of France or the King of Spain would've solidified her throne while expanding her empire. And though it obviously worked for her and the concept of a woman ruling without man is certainly politically correct these days, I think we need to take a different tact.
Madeline: [to Louise] She does know this is a make-believe government, right?
Louise: You ask her, I'm afraid.
Paris: So, in addition to the members of the political branches we'll also need a king and queen.

Quote from Paris

Rory: What about you? You be queen.
Paris: I'll be the head of parliament. I can't be queen.
Rory: Be both.
Paris: I can't be both.
Rory: Why not? It's our government.
Paris: It's not done that way.
Rory: It can be though, let's vote. Henry VIII started a new church when the old one didn't allow divorce.
Paris: He also cut off his wife's head. Is he still your role model?

Quote from Paris

Louise: I'll be the lady in waiting the one with that low-cut, blue-velvet Renaissance dress.
Paris: Lady in waiting is not a political office.
Louise: No, but they get all the sex.
Paris: What?
Louise: Watch a movie.
Paris: We are talking about government class. Not the movies. Why can't I get one person to care about this as much as I do?
Louise: Okay, fine. I'll be the head of the quarter sessions court but I'm still wearing the dress. Happy?
Paris: Out of my mind. Okay. I secured us the classroom to work tomorrow and Sunday so that by Monday, we'll be ready.
Madeline: We're working all weekend?
Louise: You're kidding.
Paris: Take this. It's an outline for the overall system. Point of methods, basic laws and penalties, plus some random ideas. Please be ready to discuss it tomorrow...
Madeline: Wow. She designed the flag.

Quote from Emily

Emily: [on the phone] I need the hatrack back.
Lorelai: What hatrack?
Emily: The hatrack I gave you.
Lorelai: What hatrack?
Emily: The hatrack I gave you for Christmas five years ago.
Lorelai: Uh, well...
Emily: It's large, bronze with dragons or weasels, I don't know. Some sort of lizard-type animal you hang your coats on.

Quote from Rory

Rory: You said you were going to swear off girls. It's funny.
Tristin: You don't think I can?
Rory: No. I think you can. I just think it would be hard for you. It'd probably involve some kind of lockup facility and one of those Hannibal Lecter masks.

Quote from Paris

Paris: I don't know what to wear.
Rory: Ever?
Paris: On my date with Tristin. I'm not a trendy girl, okay? I don't haunt the boutiques hoping to find that one fabulous little top. I study, I think about studying, then I study some more.
Rory: Wanna come in?
Paris: I only have one lipstick at home and it's barely even a color. You put it on and it looks like you're not wearing anything, which is why I liked it in the first place. But to date, you need the fabulous little top and a lipstick you can actually tell you're wearing.

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