Lorelai: Babette, I appreciate you coming over like this but Rory's not really in a talking mood just now.
Babette: But I can help!
Lorelai: I know.
Babette: I can tell her how to go through a lot of bad relationships to get to that really good one!
Lorelai: It's very good advice.
Babette: Oh, yeah. And I can tell her about all the horrible men I've known in my day. Really truly awful men.
Lorelai: Babette.
Babette: I was pushed out of a moving car once.
Lorelai: Well, that's a peppy little anecdote.

Rory: We just broke up.
Lorelai: I don't understand.
Rory: We went to dinner, and then we walked by the bonfire but it wasn't lit. So we went to this junkyard, and we sat in this car and... Oh, God!
Lorelai: What?
Rory: I forgot your meatball in the car.
Lorelai: Oh, honey, forget it.
Rory: Oh, I can't believe I left your meatball in the car.
Lorelai: Okay, come on.
Rory: After I told the waiter to wrap it up and everything. And everyone was like, "What do you want with one meatball?" And I was like, "It's a mother-daughter thing." I'm sure he thought I was nuts, but he was so nice. And he did it anyway. And he, uh, brought one of those little tinfoil swans or a duck or some kind of bird and then I left it in the car.

Lorelai: This doesn't make any sense. This is Dean we're talking about. He's crazy about you. He calls, like, 25 times a day. Have you seen the cover of his notebook? It's like one step away from stalker material.

Lorelai: Is there someone else?
Rory: No.
Lorelai: Is he moving?
Rory: No.
Lorelai: Is he dying? Did his football team lose a game?
Rory: What?
Lorelai: It's happened.
Rory: Did he, um, try something?
Rory: What?
Lorelai: You know, did he want to...
Rory: What?
Lorelai: Did he want to go faster than you?
Rory: God, no!

Lorelai: Honey, that's your fancy dress that I made for you.
Rory: That I wore to a dance that I went to with him.
Lorelai: Oh, yeah. The sweater's brand-new.
Rory: Well, he saw me in it yesterday and liked it.
Lorelai: Well, then he's got good taste.
Rory: He said it brought out the blue in my eyes.
Lorelai: Well, then he's gay.
Rory: You're not funny and it goes.
Lorelai: I'm a little funny. And if you throw away everything he ever saw you wear you're gonna be walking around in a towel.

Lorelai: Colonel Clucker? Are you serious? He has been with you since you were four.
Rory: The first time Dean came over, he picked it up.
Lorelai: Well, that's not the Colonel's fault. He was sitting there, minding his own business, and a guy picks him up. What's a stuffed bird to do?
Rory: I don't want to joke about this, not now. Here, I don't want to look at that anymore.
Lorelai: Okay, I'll put it away.
Rory: No, take it out of the house. Throw it in a dumpster, burn it, I don't care. Just... I want it gone.

Lorelai: Hello. Did you rearrange the furniture?
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: Good. Because for a minute there, I thought we were having a problem with decorator elves. I was gonna have to call an exterminator and tent the place. But it was just you. Good. So was there any reason that you suddenly felt the need to move around large pieces of furniture in the morning?
Rory: I was up. It was there.
Lorelai: Okay, good thought process. Great. Now, I noticed that you didn't move the TV though.
Rory: It was too heavy.
Lorelai: Right, okay. Well, I like this. This is good. Now, of course when the sofa actually faced the TV, it made it a little easier to watch. But, you know, this is good, too. It'll be like radio.

Lorelai: So should we rent Old Yeller, too? Or is it just a guy's crying movie?

Lorelai: So that must be the list.
Rory: Yes, it is.
Lorelai: May I see it, please? We do not need a garden hose.
Rory: We don't have one.
Lorelai: We don't have a garden either.
Rory: But maybe if we have a hose, we can grow one.

Lorelai: Rory, honey, love of my life you realize you've cut us off from Luke's where the happy coffee is.