Sookie: I am so glad! You two are perfect for each other. I have always thought that someday, if you just sort of turned around and opened your eyes that you'd see it, and now that you have, I'm just so damn happy.
Lorelai: Well, I'm-
Sookie: You're not gonna die alone. I mean, somebody will be there. Somebody will know. Somebody will find the body and call the police and-
Lorelai: Yes, that is a relief.

Sookie: How was it?
Lorelai: How was..?
Sookie: You know. Was it on top of a table? 'cause I always thought it would be on top of a table. Oh, like in Bull Durham!
Lorelai: There was no sex.
Sookie: No sex? Why no sex? [gasps] Can't Luke?
Lorelai: I'm sure he can. There was no time. Everything happened so fast.

Michel: Yes?
Lorelai: Hey. Here I have a list of services, all printed up nice and neat, including seaweed wraps, facial peels, watsu massage, and complimentary shoeshines, all of which we do not offer.
Michel: Well, we should.
Lorelai: Michel.
Michel: I mentioned them several times before, but you don't listen to me. Sookie wants to make each guest a meringue hat, and you say, "Oh, Sookie, what a brilliant idea." But I want to pamper our guests with services that we don't have, and you tell me to answer the phone.

Lorelai: Get on the phone and find me shoes and have them here by tonight, and get your dogs off the premises immediately.
Michel: My dogs aren't-
Lorelai: It's been a rough weekend. Don't screw with me.
Michel: If Kirk can sleep inside, why can't my Chows?
Lorelai: Get them and take them home.
Michel: Okay, okay, I just have to locate Pau-Pau.
Lorelai: What?
Michel: He went out for a walk. He's around. He was just testing his boundaries.
Lorelai: Apparently, so are you.
Michel: I'm going.

Rory: So then I called him today, and I told him that we need to talk because there were questions and clarifications and many tiny details that were totally ignored, because he's, like, perfect, you know? But I had it all planned out, every word. I was going to be practical, and I was going to be adult, and then...
Lane: Yeah?
Rory: And then he walked in.
Lane: Yeah?
Rory: And he kissed me, and I couldn't think. It was just... And then we...
Lane: Again?
Rory: Well, once you get the hang of it, it's pretty easy to duplicate.

Lane: Where?
Rory: What?
Lane: Where did you do it the second time?
Rory: At Miss Patty's.
Lane: You did it at Miss Patty's?
Rory: Yeah.
Lane: She would be so proud.

Lane: Okay, I'm sorry, I just have to ask you. [whispers] How was it?
Rory: Why are you whispering?
Lane: Because I just think that no matter where she is, my mom can hear this conversation.
Rory: It was a little scary.
Lane: Was he nice to you?
Rory: Yeah. It was- I mean, he loves me, and I love him.
Lane: Oh, my God.

Lorelai: [gasps] Oh, my God!
Emily: My, what a lovely greeting.
Lorelai: How long have you been sitting there?
Emily: Ten minutes. Why?
Lorelai: You scared me.
Emily: Like I'm Dracula?
Lorelai: Oh, my God, my heart won't stop pounding.
Emily: Stop being so dramatic. I just showed up for lunch. It's not as if I did anything truly terrifying like telling you that butt-crack-baring jeans had gone out of style.

Emily: Well, I don't see any reason to put this off any longer. Girls, I have something to say that may shock you, but unfortunately there's nothing I can do about that now. Lorelai, Rory, Richard and I have separated.
Lorelai: And?
Emily: What do you mean "and"? That's not enough? You need some sort of mob-related offing to make it interesting?
Lorelai: No, Mom, that's plenty. It's just, we already knew.
Emily: Rory didn't.
Rory: Well, I mean, I didn't know know...
Emily: Why would you tell her?
Lorelai: Mom!
Emily: Who else did you tell?
Lorelai: So, you haven't read "Page Six"?
Emily: Rory, if you need to talk about this to try to understand why this is happening, then by all means, do not ask your mother.

Lorelai: Okay, Mom, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be insensitive. It just seemed like a thing you and Dad were going through. I figured you'd make up.
Emily: Well, we didn't.
Lorelai: I see that. So, wow, you're really separated?
Emily: That's right. Your father's moving into the pool house.
Lorelai: So then you're not separated.
Emily: Of course we are.
Lorelai: You're separated by the pool.
Emily: That's it. That's the end of your input on this.