Lorelai: Excuse me, sir, you look just like my mother.
Rory: Hi, Grandma. Come here often?
Emily: I should say not. How did you get in?
Rory: Oh, apparently, I'm an internationally known supermodel.
Emily: Happy bachelorette party, Lorelai.
Lorelai: Thank you, Mother.
Emily: And in the future, when you plan one of these things and tell a person to show up at 8:00 it is considered good manners for you to also show up at 8:00.
Lorelai: Well, I didn't actually invite you, Mother. Michel did.
Emily: Oh, well, I feel much better now.

Lorelai: Let's drink.
Miss Patty: Looks like Emily's gotten a head start. What are you drinking, honey?
Emily: Manhattan. Good, too. Not too sweet. I ordered it from that nice chap dressed as Joan Crawford.

Emily: I must say, I admire your composure. The week before my wedding, I was a wreck.
Miss Patty: So was I, before all of mine.
Sookie: How many was that?
Miss Patty: Well, there was Sinjen, John, Sergio, Sinjen. Three men, four times.
Sookie: You regret any of them?
Miss Patty: Well, Sinjen was a letdown the second time but he was my Burton, and I was his Taylor. I just wish I could've found a little Mike Todd in the middle.

Christopher: [on the phone] So is he worthy?
Lorelai: Is anyone?
Christopher: Bono, maybe? Bryan Ferry?
Lorelai: Get serious.
Christopher: A young Tom Waits?
Lorelai: Now you're talking.

Lorelai: I think I know what an aneurysm feels like before you have it.
Sookie: Like a baseball the size of a cantaloupe in your head.
Lorelai: [chuckles] Good one.
Sookie: What?
Lorelai: Baseball the size of a cantaloupe.
Sookie: Yeah.
Lorelai: Because a baseball can only be one size, so it's a Yogi Berra type thing.
Sookie: Yogi Bear?
Lorelai: [chuckles] No. Forget it.

Michel: I feel like crap on toast.
Lorelai: Hey, where were you after you broke off from the group?
Michel: Oh, I sat at a table with Janet Jackson and Celine Dion. Very nice guys. Oh, by the way, your husband-to-be is out there looking annoyingly perky. Slap him or I will.

Lorelai: I'm just mad you're not more hung over.
Max Medina: I tried. I did.
Lorelai: Liar.
Max Medina: I drank copiously.
Lorelai: People who've drunk copiously the night before do not use words like 'copiously'.

Rory: Was it when you told us you were calling Max?
Lorelai: Somewhere around there.
Rory: Why did you say you were calling Max?
Lorelai: Honey, some day when you're a little older you will be introduced to something that is extremely seductive but fickle. A fair-weather friend who seems benign but packs a wallop like a donkey kick. And that is the Long Island Iced Tea. The Long Island Iced Tea makes you do things that you normally wouldn't do. Like lifting your skirt in public or calling someone you normally wouldn't call at really weird times.
Rory: I'm not looking forward to meeting the Long Island Iced Tea.
Lorelai: I'd definitely walk the other way.

Luke: I guess for some people marriage, you know, isn't the worst thing in the world. I mean, it's probably better than being hobbled or something like that.
Lorelai: And people can evolve together, don't you think?
Luke: Maybe.
Lorelai: Yoko and John Lennon did. They just got closer and closer as the years went by. At the end, they had the same face.
Luke: It got a little spooky.
Lorelai: But cool.
Luke: Yeah, they were lucky. I guess if you can find that one person who's willing to put up with all your crap and doesn't want to change you or dress you or make you eat French food, then marriage can be all right. But that's only if you find that person.
Lorelai: Yeah, if you find that person.

Rory: What's going on? Why are we hitting the road?
Lorelai: We haven't taken a road trip in forever, and the weather is perfect.
Rory: We can't take a road trip. You're getting married this weekend.
Lorelai: Do you have my blue swimsuit?
Rory: What about Max?
Lorelai: Sunscreen. We need sunscreen.
Rory: Mom, stop.
Lorelai: What?
Rory: Are you and Max getting married?
Lorelai: No.
Rory: Why?
Lorelai: Because I didn't want to try on my wedding dress every night.