Lorelai: It could be, like, a paint studio.
Luke: We don't paint.
Lorelai: Well, maybe we'll start. Maybe it's the lack of a studio that's kept us from realizing our love of watercolors.
Luke: I don't have a love of watercolors.
Lorelai: Or I could use it as my recording studio. That would be cool, huh? And when I'm not laying down tracks, I could rent it out to Korn or Iggy Pop or someone, right? You and me just hanging with Iggy Pop, rocking out, telling stories. Ig's got stories.
Luke: Uh-huh.
Lorelai: Or we could use it as a safe house in case we decide to take up a life of crime.
Luke: I doubt we're going to do that.
Lorelai: Well, we could be wrongly accused of a crime we did not commit. Then we'd have to hide out until society realized the mistake, and then we'd be like, "Hey, no hard feelings. It happens. This is a great country, and thank god we had the safe house."

Lorelai: So, what do we do?
Luke: I'm gonna talk to T.J. But I'm gonna be smart about it, I'm not gonna spook him. I'm gonna be like Michael Corleone dealing with that slimy brother-in-law of his. Get a couple of tickets to a ball game, invite him along. We'll talk about the beer and the hot dogs we're gonna eat. And then I'm gonna get him to admit that he did this. And then when we get in the car on the way to the ball park, I'm gonna put a rope around his neck and pull it till he's dead!
Luke: Wait, wait. You're in the backseat?
Luke: That's for garroting, yes.
Lorelai: No, he's gonna smell something fishy if you hop in the backseat especially if you're driving.
Luke: No, he's not that bright. It'll work.
Lorelai: Why are you even buying the tickets? Just sneak up and garrote him on the street save the money.
Luke: I can still go to the game the other way. I'll take my friend Ed. He hasn't been to a game in ages.

Luke: And they have those flashlight thingies-
Lorelai: Yes, that's the right name for those flashlight thingies.
Luke: And Jedi powers of mind control, and they can move things, so they're telekinetic. And they hover on their jet saucers over molten lava, and they can jump and fly like they're in Cirque du Soleil.
Lorelai: Ah, coffee, please.
Luke: But what gives one Jedi knight the edge over the other, huh? The ultimate advantage. They stand on a mound of dirt and declare, "You can't win. I've got the high ground."
Lorelai: Dude, if he said it, that's the way it is. It's a fictional world.
Luke: He's four feet up a little slope. That wipes out the other guys' powers to fly, jump around, move things with his brain, use his flashlight thingy?
Lorelai: You've got to learn the right term for that flashlight thingy.