Emily: Lorelai, stop this. I know you're upset. I know you hate us, but-
Lorelai: I don't hate you. Why would I hate you?
Emily: Well, because we... Because you thought we...
Lorelai: You were just being you. You couldn't help it.
Emily: What are you talking about?
Lorelai: The Scorpion and the Frog. It's an old story. The scorpion says to the frog, "Hey, frog. Give me a lift to the other side of the pond." Frog says, "No way. You'll sting me and I'll die." Scorpion says, "Will not! 'Cause then we'd both drown." Frog says "Cool." So, scorpion gets on the frog's back, and frog makes it to the middle of the pond, and the scorpion stings him. As the frog is going down, he says, "Why would you do that? Now we'll both die." Scorpion says, "Sorry, it's just my nature." Frog. Scorpion.
Emily: I always thought it was a turtle.
Lorelai: Whatever it was, you guys couldn't help it.

Luke: And these are real?
Kirk: Yes, they are.
Luke: I mean, real diamonds, not "they exist" real?
Kirk: Diamond and platinum. I have a certificate of authenticity for every one of these babies.
Luke: Kirk, where'd you get all these rings?
Kirk: I befriend really old women.
Luke: Excuse me?
Kirk: Really old women need companionship, Luke. They are really old. Most people they know are dead. So when someone comes along and they're not dead, and they'll listen to their stories and care about their dosage, they are grateful.
Luke: Are you serious?
Kirk: Serious as a heart attack. Which is how I got that ring you're holding right now.

Luke: So when I said "what about the kids", I didn't mean "what about our kids". I mean, yes, obviously, what about our kids? But I didn't mean we had to have any kids. 'Cause we don't. But we can, I just didn't want you to think that I was laying down some kind of a mandate. I mean, kids. It's plural, so it sounds like a lot. But we can just have one kid, one's fine, or more if you want more, or we don't have to have any kids. We could just get a plant.
Lorelai: What?
Luke: Nothing.
Lorelai: Okay.
Luke: I bought a house, Twickham house. I bought it for us. I don't have it anymore. I could probably get it back, but I just thought you should know. I bought it. For the kids, that we don't have to have. It's a big house, and we don't have to fill it up with kids, you know? We could, we could get furniture. Go shopping for a couch, or get some end tables. [sighs] I hate shopping for furniture. For me, kids are easier.
Lorelai: I love shopping.
Luke: Go to sleep.
Lorelai: Mmkay.