Emily: Diners are generally so filthy. I'm sure yours isn't, but the horror stories you hear. I read that one in Vermont got caught serving roadkill. Do you know what that is?
Luke: Uh, yeah, it's, uh, dead animals from the street.
Emily: From the street, from the backyard, fished out of pools. These diners find it and serve it. Again, probably not yours. But the fact that this place got away with it at all is astounding. I guess people who frequent diners don't look too closely at what they're eating out of self defense.
Luke: We don't serve roadkill at my place.
Emily: Well, good for you. I had a friend who ate at a diner once and the next day she dropped dead. Her family considered suing the place but there's nothing to get from these people. A couple of stools and a toaster. But they were sure it was a matter of hygiene and they eventually drove them out of the state. I don't want to tell you what they found when they moved the stove. Would you like another beer, Luke?

Luke: [on the phone] And he wants to shave me.
Lorelai: Shave what?
Luke: I don't know, he just kept talking about shaving me, and I'm tipsy. We hit the club bar, and I didn't want to sound dumb and just order a beer because it's nitwit juice, so I had what your dad was having which was whiskey something, more whiskey than something, let me tell you, 'cause I can't even see straight.
Lorelai: Aw, you poor thing.
Luke: And I've got an art dealer now.
Lorelai: No!
Luke: I'm driving to Manhattan next week to look at some Diebenkorns. What's a Diebenkorn?
Lorelai: I don't know.
Luke: Oh, and I bought some golf clubs, they cost the same as a car.

Lorelai: I wasn't hiding it.
Emily: You jumped on Rory when you thought she told me. You were hiding it.
Rory: She did not jump on me, Grandma.
Lorelai: Yeah, and I wasn't hiding it. The only reason I reacted to Kirk the way that I did is that he's not in this world, he's in my other world. It's as if I, out of the blue, told you I was having tea with Mrs. Van Uppity.
Emily: Who?
Lorelai: Hortense Van Uppity, tight bun, lace collar, tiny poodle fictional friend?