Kirk Quote #118

Quote from Kirk in The Reigning Lorelai

Kirk: Oh, I can tell you what they're saying.
Lorelai: How?
Kirk: I read lips. My girlfriend taught me. It's so we can have quiet time and keep the conversation going at the same time. Okay, she just said, "Hardwood sponge is the authority of the hostile biographer." And then he responded, "Just phone cords to original samovars."
Lorelai: Kirk, that doesn't make any sense.
Kirk: Must mean they're on to us and they've switched to some sort of code.
Lorelai: I don't think they're speaking in code.
Kirk: Oh, I think Luke's heading back. He just got up and said, "Feel your taters."
Lorelai: Is it possible he said, "I'll see you later?"
Kirk: No, I'm pretty sure about this one.

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 ‘The Reigning Lorelai’ Quotes

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: So, apparently, I am now the reigning Lorelai.
Rory: Huh. I guess you are.
Lorelai: It's a lot of responsibility.
Rory: Well, sure.
Lorelai: I mean, it's mostly ceremonial stuff nowadays - declaring knighthoods, opening supermarkets - but now and then, you get to banish someone or pose for a stamp.
Rory: Neat. And coins.
Lorelai: Yeah and coins. You know, someday you'll be the reigning Lorelai.
Rory: I don't like that idea.
Lorelai: Why not? You get a cape.
Rory: Because if I'm the reigning Lorelai, that means you'll be gone.
Lorelai: Gone? No, not me. I'll step down way before that. I'm not gonna pull a Queen Elizabeth on you, make you wait around forever, force you to develop interests in polo and architecture.
Rory: I am scared of horses.
Lorelai: I know that.
Rory: So, there's a cape, huh?

Quote from Michel

Lorelai: Michel, come on, we've got to get into these budgets.
Sookie: Now.
Michel: Does the red light mean it's programmed?
Sookie: I explained it a hundred times.
Lorelai: Michel, you've been setting that machine for 20 minutes now.
Sookie: The man can't live without his dog show.
Michel: Ugh, I could just kill my cable provider. "No Westminster dog show, but please enjoy Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle 24 hours a day." Ah, there, it's recording.
Lorelai: Well, get over here.
Michel: I just want to see the Chows. Look at that one strut. You know you're a pretty girl, don't you? Yes, with those "I need some loving" eyes.

 Kirk Gleason Quotes

Quote from Tippecanoe and Taylor, Too

Kirk: I took it upon myself to poll the town, and I think you're gonna be pretty happy with the results.
Sookie: We are?
Kirk: Jackson is solidly in the lead.
Sookie: Already?
Lorelai: We just started bugging people.
Kirk: Well, I modeled my poll after the Gallup poll. The Gallup poll uses a sample of 1,005 voters to represent the 280 million people of the United States. Using that logic, the correct sampling size of the town of Stars Hollow would be 0.002. Rounding that up means one person needs to be polled, so I picked me.
Lorelai: You polled yourself?
Kirk: I was right there. Seemed like a perfect opportunity.

Quote from Blame Booze and Melville

Kirk: Sally Forth is on fire today. On fire!
Luke: Where did you get a quarter of a million dollars!
Kirk: What? I don't have a quarter of a million dollars.
Luke: You don't?
Kirk: No. Just shy. It's $247,868. Sixty-seven, if I get a couple of donuts to go. Those chocolate raised are calling my name.
Luke: Where the hell did you get that much money?
Kirk: I've been working for eleven years, Luke. I've had fifteen thousand jobs. I've saved every dollar I've ever made. That and the miracle of compound interest has created a bounty of a quarter of a million dollars. Again, just under. I don't want to brag.