Lorelai Quote #1533
Luke: Look, nothing's changed.
Lorelai: Yeah nothing's changed, except you don't live here!
Luke: So what?
Lorelai: So? I don't even have your phone number.
Luke: I'll give you my phone number.
Lorelai: I don't even know what you live in! An apartment, a trailer, a batcave...
Luke: A townhouse.
Lorelai: A townhouse? Sure, 'cause when I look at you I think "common driveway".
Quote from Kirk
Kirk: Lorelai, what time do you have?
Luke: Do not tell him. He already knows.
Kirk: I do not!
Luke: If you just wait for the bells, then you'll get to hear the bells, and then you'll know what time it is.
Kirk: Actually, that's not true. The other day I stood too close to the bells and they rang so loud that there's now a persistent ringing in my ears. Now I can't tell which are the church bells and which are the Kirk bells.
Lorelai: Oh, no. Did you go to the doctor?
Kirk: Yes, he said I have tinnitis. I looked it up on the web at "Celebrities Who Share Your Disease" and found that William Shatner is likewise afflicted.
Luke: Really, Kirk and Captain Kirk?
Kirk: The irony wasn't lost on me. Was that them?
Quote from Paris
Paris: When you boil it down, isn't the whole Israeli-Palestinian problem a case of sibling rivalry?
Professor Freedman: Follow up?
Paris: The Old Testament, it's all there. Israelis are descendants of Abraham and Sarah. Arabs are descendants of Abraham and his maid Hagar. So Israelis and Arabs both have the same dad, and both want the great nation God promised Abraham. They might as well be fighting over who gets the TV remote.
Quote from Afterboom
Lorelai: Okay. Wait. Just wait. We can still leave.
Lorelai: Rory, right now is the point in the horror movie where the entire audience is yelling, "Don't go in there."
Quote from Let the Games Begin
Emily: What on earth does Frank Lloyd Wright have to do with my salad?
Richard: And your walnuts.
Lorelai: Mrs. Wright apparently had this major problem with her help. She was very rough on them and they totally hated her. So this guy who had worked for her forever, he had finally had enough. I believe the incident was over walnuts, wasn't it, honey?
Rory: The exact cause has not been proven.
Lorelai: Anyhow, Mrs. Wright invites this whole posse of people over for dinner and they're all sitting around eating, and Mr. Disgruntled Servant Guy goes outside and locks all the doors and windows and douses the whole house in gasoline and sets the place on fire.
Emily: My goodness.
Lorelai: So the house is on fire, and people are freaking out, so they run to the doors but the doors are locked, so a few of them try to get out through the windows, but Mr. Angry-Puss is standing outside with an ax hacking them to death and so they all died.
Emily: Why on earth would you tell me that story?
Lorelai: All I'm saying is, sometimes eating a walnut is preferable to getting hacked to death or set on fire during dinner.
Emily: One of these days I'm going to make you eat in your room.