Lorelai: Ooh, I'll put it on the computer and then superimpose an important person standing next to you, seeing you off. Like Kissinger or Lady Bird Johnson or Pat Summerall or something.
Rory: Pat Summerall?
Lorelai: You think of somebody better.
Rory: Orson Welles.
Lorelai: It can't be a dead person.
Rory: Pat Summerall's dead.
Lorelai: No, he's not.
Rory: Pat Summerall is dead.
Lorelai: No, I'm telling you, he's not. Lady Bird Johnson is dead.
Rory: No, she's not.
Lorelai: How much you wanna bet?
Rory: Five bucks.
Lorelai: Let's google him right now.

Luke: The first night on the boat we, uh, went to see an act that everyone was raving about. We go in, sit down, they close the door. Turned out to be a guy playing musical drinking glasses. You know, with the half-filled cups that give off different tones. He played Mozart, and I swear I could hear Mozart banging on his coffin. Out of politeness, we stayed, and there went an hour of our lives. Next night, the sign in front of the theater said the entertainment for the night was a guy singing the songs of Sinatra. We verified with the guy at the door, the songs of Frank Sinatra, right? Not Tina, not Frank Jr., not Bill Sinatra, but Ol' Blue Eyes. "Yes," he says. "It's like Frank come to life." We go in, sit down, they close the door. Then they announce that the guy singing Sinatra is sick and the glass-playing guy is filling in. Out he comes, there's goes another hour. Next night, we meet a nice couple while walking the Lido Deck. Had some nice conversation, so we have dinner with them. Everything's going great. Then they invite us to go somewhere afterwards - guess where they took us? That's right, to see the glass guy. Three nights in a row, three hours total. Well, that's what I want. I want those three hours back.
Mr. Blodgett: We'll have to confer on this.
Mr. Stein #2: Maybe do a productivity study.
Luke: Yeah, get Blobb, Fromm and Pinnuccio in there, too.

Lorelai: Well, I can vouch for this man. I mean, I know he cared for Nicole, and apparently they both got a little rash. I mean, not in "apply to affected area twice daily" rash, I mean rash in that they hastily entered into a union.
Mr. Blodgett: We know all this.
Lorelai: But if you think he married her to get something, I know that's not true. He's basically a hermit, and happy to be one. I could show you his place upstairs. I mean, you half expect Hari Krishnas to jump out of the bathroom banging tambourines. All he likes is fishing and watching baseball, and he's got a reel and he's got a TV, so he's all set. So when he says he wants nothing, I know he means it, because when I think of Luke Danes, I think nothing.
Luke: Mr. Blodgett, Steins one and two, there you go.