Kirk: I have a thought.
Taylor Doose: Go ahead, Kirk.
Kirk: A controlled hunt.
Babette: Guns?
Kirk: Not guns, wolves.
Luke: What?
Kirk: You release a pack of wolves, they eat the deer, problem solved. Of course, then you'll have to deal with your wolf problem.

Paris: Relax, I'm okay with you making valedictorian over me.
Rory: Oh, good, thanks.
Paris: Sure. I actually googled the personal histories of Ivy League valedictorians going back twenty-five years, and found some enlightening statistics. They don't necessarily do too well in later life, did you know that?
Rory: No.
Paris: Oh, yeah. A lot of business failures, crumbled marriages, suicides, obesity. A bunch died in car crashes, several did time, one suffocated when his cat fell asleep on his face.
Rory: Okay, well, thanks again.

Lorelai: You find any mold?
Kirk: You mean, did I find any silent death? Not so far, no.
Lorelai: Good.
Kirk: I did tell you about the dangers of mold, right? And Ed McMahon's dog?
Lorelai: Yes, you did.
Kirk: Suffered memory loss due to mold infestation. Forgot how to sit.
Lorelai: Yes, it was horrible.
Kirk: It's a growth industry right now, pardon the pun. Mold is money. I just wish I wasn't so scared of finding it.
Lorelai: Well, don't look too hard then.
Kirk: Thanks.