Jess Quote #86
Luke: Look, you're my responsibility. You're exhibiting signs of violent behavior and I don't care how much you don't wanna talk about it, you're not leaving until you tell me. Now, tell me, where'd you get the black eye?
Jess: You wouldn't believe it anyway.
Luke: Try me, tough guy.
Jess: A swan.
Luke: Excuse me?
Jess: I was attacked by a swan. Okay, you happy? A stupid swan.
Luke: [clears throat] Now, how 'bout the real story?
Jess: That is the real story. It hangs out by Larson's Dock. I was just walking by and the thing came out of nowhere and bam, beaked me right in the eye.
Luke: It beaked you?
Jess: You still don't believe me.
Luke: I just never heard anyone use the word beaked as a verb before. [chuckles]
Jess: No, no, this isn't funny. That stupid bird attacked me. He could've blinded me. It's a vicious, vicious bird, and... fine. Forget it.
Gilmore Girls Quotes
‘Swan Song’ Quotes
Quote from Rory
Rory: Do you love it?
Jess: It's great.
Rory: The Holy Barbarians. I mean, what a title. And it's by a Venice Beach beatnik about Venice Beach beatniks, and to top it off, the beatnik who wrote it is the father of the guy that does those Actor's Studio interviews on TV.
Jess: The guy with the beard?
Rory: Yeah, the pointy beard. That's his dad writing at his desk.
Jess: Oh, it's weird that a weird beatnik-y guy would have a conservative son like that.
Rory: Maybe he's not that conservative. Maybe at night he, like, takes off his clothes and parties.
Jess: Aw, man, now get that picture out of my head.
Quote from Jess
Jess: Does she know what I look like?
Rory: I don't think so.
Jess: Perfect. Find someone who vaguely resembles me. Take him. Just don't kiss him goodnight.
Rory: That's not going to work.
Jess: Andy Warhol did it all the time.
Quote from Miss Patty
Miss Patty: Okay, here we go. Hey, did you know that I once met the great Bette Davis? I was a chorus girl in a bus-and-truck tour of Guys and Dolls. Beantown, I love that town. And there I was, me and the girls backstage after the show, and in she comes. And who does she walk right up to, but little old me. And she sized me up, exhaled some smoke from that regal mouth of hers, and said, "Doll, you don't got the high notes but you sure got the gams." I'll always treasure that moment with Bette and I wanna dedicate this song to her. Ethel, key of D.