Rory: Do you love it?
Jess: It's great.
Rory: The Holy Barbarians. I mean, what a title. And it's by a Venice Beach beatnik about Venice Beach beatniks, and to top it off, the beatnik who wrote it is the father of the guy that does those Actor's Studio interviews on TV.
Jess: The guy with the beard?
Rory: Yeah, the pointy beard. That's his dad writing at his desk.
Jess: Oh, it's weird that a weird beatnik-y guy would have a conservative son like that.
Rory: Maybe he's not that conservative. Maybe at night he, like, takes off his clothes and parties.
Jess: Aw, man, now get that picture out of my head.

Jess: Does she know what I look like?
Rory: I don't think so.
Jess: Perfect. Find someone who vaguely resembles me. Take him. Just don't kiss him goodnight.
Rory: That's not going to work.
Jess: Andy Warhol did it all the time.

Miss Patty: Okay, here we go. Hey, did you know that I once met the great Bette Davis? I was a chorus girl in a bus-and-truck tour of Guys and Dolls. Beantown, I love that town. And there I was, me and the girls backstage after the show, and in she comes. And who does she walk right up to, but little old me. And she sized me up, exhaled some smoke from that regal mouth of hers, and said, "Doll, you don't got the high notes but you sure got the gams." I'll always treasure that moment with Bette and I wanna dedicate this song to her. Ethel, key of D.