Rory: Wow, look at all the bags.
Lorelai: Yes, I went shopping for my father's birthday present today, which was great for about fifteen minutes, until it all came back to me.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: The fact that I totally suck at buying my father presents.
Rory: He'll like whatever you get him.
Lorelai: If I slip him a quaalude, he'll like whatever I get him.
Rory: They are not that bad.
Lorelai: My intentions are always good, and I never put a price limit on it. I even went so far as to follow older men around the store who kind of looked like my dad to see what they were buying, which didn't help me with ideas, but I did get asked to the antique car show.

Kirk: Today we have an almond tort, an apple pandowdy, and various marzipan fruits made by a sect of cloistered nuns in Toledo.
Dean: I'll have a piece of pie.
Kirk: Cherry, peach, chocolate, pumpkin, custard...
Dean: Custard's fine.
Kirk: There's more.
Dean: I know, but custard's fine.
Kirk: You don't wanna hear the rest?
Dean: I am really good with the custard.
Kirk: But they made memorize thirty different flavors.
Dean: Kirk?
Kirk: Yes?
Dean: Custard is fine.
Kirk: You want ice cream with that?
Dean: Are there different flavors?
Kirk: Thirty-two.
Dean: Just the pie.

Rory: Wait a minute. You do know that Southern Connecticut State is a four-year college?
Dean: Yeah, I read that in the brochure.
Rory: But what happened to "I'm going to community college"?
Dean: I changed my mind.
Rory: Why?
Dean: You.
Rory: Me?
Dean: All your Harvard talk, all those crazy books you pushed on me, all that talk about "you can do more".
Rory: You can do more.
Dean: So I decided to do more.