Lorelai Quote #1074
Lorelai: Now, Sookie, listen to me because you're torturing yourself here.
Sookie: Emily, hi.
Lorelai: Oh, that's nice. That's very high school. Stick with me here.
Sookie: Good to see you.
Lorelai: Yeah, that's funny. You know who's behind you? It's Joseph Stalin, my good friend. What are you doing back from the dead, Joe?
Lorelai: Oh, Mom! Ah, geez, you scared me.
Emily: You heard Sookie greet me.
Lorelai: Oh, I thought it was a joke.
Emily: Like comparing me to Joseph Stalin?
Lorelai: I wasn't comparing you to Joseph Stalin.
Quote from Sookie
Sookie: Bob has two seconds to get the hollandaise off the flame before I break his neck!
Lorelai: Sookie, listen, you hired Bob. You trained him in your image. He's great, and he's subbed for you before.
Sookie: But this is Thanksgiving, he has never done Thanksgiving.
Lorelai: He's ready, he'll sub for you seamlessly. Even Big Joe Newsanchor's have substitutes.
Sookie: And that's the thing. They still say, "And now the CBS Evening News with Dan Rather." You see? Dan is still associated with it even though he's off snorkeling or something, just like I'm gonna be associated with the dinner because Bob is substituting for Sookie.
Quote from Paris
Paris: My Thanksgiving is turning into a Wes Craven movie.
Rory: How so?
Paris: I called shelters to volunteer to serve food. It's Thanksgiving, you'd think they have needs. Nope. Every stupid soup kitchen in town turned me down because they have enough volunteers.
Paris: I'm on a couple waiting lists, but it doesn't look good.
Rory: I've never heard of too many volunteers.
Paris: Who are all these jackasses who volunteered anyway? They can't all be students like me. They're not all putting it on a college application. I get something out of it and these other people don't get a thing. Talk about selfish.
Quote from Afterboom
Lorelai: Okay. Wait. Just wait. We can still leave.
Lorelai: Rory, right now is the point in the horror movie where the entire audience is yelling, "Don't go in there."
Quote from Let the Games Begin
Emily: What on earth does Frank Lloyd Wright have to do with my salad?
Richard: And your walnuts.
Lorelai: Mrs. Wright apparently had this major problem with her help. She was very rough on them and they totally hated her. So this guy who had worked for her forever, he had finally had enough. I believe the incident was over walnuts, wasn't it, honey?
Rory: The exact cause has not been proven.
Lorelai: Anyhow, Mrs. Wright invites this whole posse of people over for dinner and they're all sitting around eating, and Mr. Disgruntled Servant Guy goes outside and locks all the doors and windows and douses the whole house in gasoline and sets the place on fire.
Emily: My goodness.
Lorelai: So the house is on fire, and people are freaking out, so they run to the doors but the doors are locked, so a few of them try to get out through the windows, but Mr. Angry-Puss is standing outside with an ax hacking them to death and so they all died.
Emily: Why on earth would you tell me that story?
Lorelai: All I'm saying is, sometimes eating a walnut is preferable to getting hacked to death or set on fire during dinner.
Emily: One of these days I'm going to make you eat in your room.