Lorelai Quote #974
Lorelai: No, I mean, my premonitions have been about death, about my death.
Rory: I don't wanna hear this.
Lorelai: And the thing is, they're all silly.
Rory: What do you mean, silly?
Lorelai: In one, I slip on a banana peel and fall into a giant vat of whipped cream.
Rory: Silly and fattening.
Lorelai: In another, a turtle eats me.
Rory: A turtle, how?
Lorelai: Very slowly. There's lots of chewing.
Rory: And in your premonition, you didn't run away from what is perhaps the slowest land animal on the earth?
Lorelai: His first bite injects me with immobilizing poison.
Rory: Well, you left that part out.
Quote from Lane
Lane: Wait, Zach, no, you don't understand. We can't play louder. See, my mom has this special antenna that can pick up non-Christian music being played within a football field's distance of our house, and she'd immediately come looking for me in order to shield me from the perversion.
Brian: If Zach's going, I'm going.
Lane: Wait, no, Brian, I'm not exaggerating. Once, a guy in our town named Kirk was practicing Bohemian Rhapsody with his band, the Kirk Gleason Five, and my mom shut them down so fast that the band fled without their instruments and never came back for them. To this day, Kirk can't listen to Queen without tearing up.
Quote from Lane
Lane: Oh, it was a fine collection, believe me.
Rory: She made you apply to every one?
Lane: And measured my head for a wimple.
Rory: Out of twenty-three schools, there wasn't one that you might want to go to?
Lane: It depends on what I'm looking for. Of course, all the great Seventh Day Adventist schools were represented, with their ban on dancing, gum chewing and bowling. Quaker College was a delightful surprise, with its special appeal to Richard Nixon, who's dead but still deeply involved in campus recruiting. Oh, and the piece de resistance! She found an Amish school in Nicaragua. Nicaragua! A big shout out to Mama Kim on that one!
Quote from Afterboom
Lorelai: Okay. Wait. Just wait. We can still leave.
Lorelai: Rory, right now is the point in the horror movie where the entire audience is yelling, "Don't go in there."
Quote from Let the Games Begin
Emily: What on earth does Frank Lloyd Wright have to do with my salad?
Richard: And your walnuts.
Lorelai: Mrs. Wright apparently had this major problem with her help. She was very rough on them and they totally hated her. So this guy who had worked for her forever, he had finally had enough. I believe the incident was over walnuts, wasn't it, honey?
Rory: The exact cause has not been proven.
Lorelai: Anyhow, Mrs. Wright invites this whole posse of people over for dinner and they're all sitting around eating, and Mr. Disgruntled Servant Guy goes outside and locks all the doors and windows and douses the whole house in gasoline and sets the place on fire.
Emily: My goodness.
Lorelai: So the house is on fire, and people are freaking out, so they run to the doors but the doors are locked, so a few of them try to get out through the windows, but Mr. Angry-Puss is standing outside with an ax hacking them to death and so they all died.
Emily: Why on earth would you tell me that story?
Lorelai: All I'm saying is, sometimes eating a walnut is preferable to getting hacked to death or set on fire during dinner.
Emily: One of these days I'm going to make you eat in your room.