Lane Quote #104
Lorelai: And rehearsing in the music shop's been working out?
Lane: Perfectly. It's totally time efficient, being a thirty-second commute from my house. We practice for two hours, I'm home in time to watch reruns of Johnny Yune's talk show on Korean television with my mom, who thinks I hooked up with you guys – which I did, so I'm not even lying.
Lorelai: Well, you're kinda lying.
Lane: I'm fibbing, but a fib is not a lie.
Lorelai: I'd say it's a fib-slash-lie.
Lane: No, no, it's not a lie, and I can always tell ‘cause of the few times that I've out and out lied to my mother, I'd get this feeling in my gut like a wild animal was burrowing into it, and I'm not getting that.
Lorelai: Wild animals burrowing into my stomach – another one of my premonitions.
Rory: Pretty spooky.
Lane: I've gotta go. I'm single-handedly improving the reputation of drummers everywhere by being on time for every rehearsal. Thanks for the food.
Quote from Lane
Lane: Oh, it was a fine collection, believe me.
Rory: She made you apply to every one?
Lane: And measured my head for a wimple.
Rory: Out of twenty-three schools, there wasn't one that you might want to go to?
Lane: It depends on what I'm looking for. Of course, all the great Seventh Day Adventist schools were represented, with their ban on dancing, gum chewing and bowling. Quaker College was a delightful surprise, with its special appeal to Richard Nixon, who's dead but still deeply involved in campus recruiting. Oh, and the piece de resistance! She found an Amish school in Nicaragua. Nicaragua! A big shout out to Mama Kim on that one!
Quote from Lane
Lane: Wait, Zach, no, you don't understand. We can't play louder. See, my mom has this special antenna that can pick up non-Christian music being played within a football field's distance of our house, and she'd immediately come looking for me in order to shield me from the perversion.
Brian: If Zach's going, I'm going.
Lane: Wait, no, Brian, I'm not exaggerating. Once, a guy in our town named Kirk was practicing Bohemian Rhapsody with his band, the Kirk Gleason Five, and my mom shut them down so fast that the band fled without their instruments and never came back for them. To this day, Kirk can't listen to Queen without tearing up.
Quote from Tippecanoe and Taylor, Too
Lane: [on the phone] Need I mention the rock 'n' roll casualties from intra-band dating?
Rory: I know they're numerous.
Lane: Not that there's not success stories. I mean, you've got your Cramps, your Yo La Tengo, your Kim and Thurstons.
Rory: Sonny and Cher, the Early Years.
Lane: Plus, you've got bands that have survived breakups, No Doubt.
Rory: Wish they hadn't.
Lane: X, Supertramp, The White Stripes. But in the negative, you have...
Rory: Sonny and Cher, the Later Years.
Lane: Jefferson Airplane, Fleetwood Mac. I know of two country music stars whose backup singers shot them in the groin.
Rory: Whoa. That's wicked hate.
Quote from Application Anxiety
Rory: She's writing her drummer-seeks-rock-band ad.
Lane: And it's not reading right to me. Could you guys look it over?
Rory: Let's see. "Drummer with strong beat seeks band into the Accelerators, the Adolescents, the Adverts, Agent Orange, the Angelic Upstarts, the Agnostic Front, Ash..."
Rory: You went alphabetically.
Lane: Seemed tidy.
Lorelai: And a little OCD.
Rory: And a little long.
Lane: I can't make cuts.
Rory: It's three pages, single spaced – make cuts.
Lane: But this is the cut-down version. I mean, just from the letter A, I excluded AC/DC, the Animals, and A-Ha, footnoted as a guilty pleasure.